I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 10

"It's okay buddy just breathe for us" he says.

"I'm here Lou, we're both here, nothing is going to happen to you" I reassure him.

Louis is gasping for air and I can see Andy is getting concerned. Niall makes it back into the bathroom with Andy's bag. Andy has blood all over his hands and he grabs a towel and places it to Louis wrists.

"Niall, keep pressure on this wrist okay" Andy says.

"Should we be calling an ambulance?" Zayn asks from the doorway, back with the bowl of warm water that he hands Andy.

"I can fix it all up here, I can give him stitches if he needs them, we just need to calm him down" Andy tells us.

"Louis, I want you to focus on me, focus on my breaths and breathing okay, you need to relax" I tell him.

Andy sets to cleaning up Louis wrists and I try to calm him down.

"That's it baby, in and out. I've got you just relax" I tell him.

Eventually Louis calms down and is resting back against my chest. He is sniffling and hiccuping every now and then but he is calm. He is looking at the bathroom wall, I card my hands through his hair and he relaxes in my arms. Andy and Niall gently clean Louis cuts and stop the bleeding, we are all covered in Louis blood by the time they are finished. Louis right arm looks like the cuts are really deep. His left arm must be the infected arm because it looks nasty and red and extremely painful.

"Okay, so I need to put stitches In your right arm Lou, you cut it quite deep. I'm going to give you a numbing needle though so you won't feel it" he tells Louis.

"I can handle the pain" Louis says croakily.

His eyes never leave the wall and his comment breaks my heart.

"I don't doubt that buddy" Andy says.

He gives Louis a needle in his arm and he doesn't even flinch. He then stitches up his arm and bandages them both.

"Louis, I'm going to have to put another drip in, i need to give you your antibiotics through that, I can't risk these new cuts getting infected too okay" Andy says.

He doesn't get a response from Louis, but sets to setting him up anyway. Andy grabs the new clothes for Louis off Liam and then Zayn, Liam and Niall leave the room. Andy and I undress Louis to his boxers and redress him in his new clothes. His small frame is worrying and I don't miss the concerned look Andy gives his body. When we finish dressing Louis I carry him to bed and tuck him in. He doesn't say anything else but he falls asleep instantly completely exhausted.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch Haz, I want to be here if something happens okay, I might camp over for a few days. Can you stay with him?" Andy says.

"Of course, yeah definitely. I won't leave him, I'll call you if I need you" I tell him.

He smiles at me and goes to leave the room.

"Thank you Andy" I tell him.

"You did good Haz, really good" he tells me.

I smile slightly and he leaves me alone with Louis. I strip down to my boxers and hop into bed with him . I grab onto his tiny body and I don't let him go. I wrap him up and hold onto him for dear life. Scared that if I loosen my grip he will disappear.

LOUIS POV.

I wake up gasping for air, sweating, I look to my left and there is a drip in my arm. The nights events come crashing back to me and my chest heaves. Harry is sleeping soundly to my right, I wonder why he is even there, why he was gentle with me. It doesn't matter anyway, what matters is that they know. The boys know my secret and I'm in deep shit now. I steady my breathing and run my hands through my sweaty hair. I desperately need a glass of water, I could wake Harry up. Yet I don't want to deal with him and his confusing shit. I look at the clock and it says 3am. I could sneak out of the house, go back home without anyone knowing. But then I would have to deal with mum and Ann. I sigh my life is shit right now. The tears come then and I end up pulling the drip out of my hand, I don't want Harry to wake up and I just need some air. I push the covers off slowly and I make my way out of the room. I walk slowly down the stairs and I come to the lounge room, even through the dark I don't miss Andy and Niall cuddled together on the couch. My confusion sets in then. So Andy and Niall are together? Niall and Andy are gay? Noah is gay and Harry is still friends with all of them, Harry still loves all of them. Why is it me that is such a fuck up then, why does he hate me so much. I hate myself so much, I never going to be good enough for anyone. My wrists ache and I scratch the itch with my nails, digging in to my skin. I don't notice Harry's presence until he says my name.