I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 8

"I'm not hungry" I say.

I see Harry drop his fork and stand up out of his chair and turn to me.

"Let's get one thing straight here kid, you are staying here under our roof, which means our rules. I don't care why you don't want to eat but you will eat the goddam food we prepare for you. Do you understand!" He yells at me.

My breathing picks up, I hate being yelled at. Why does Harry all of a sudden hate me. I feel like absolute shit. The itch comes back and I don't realise I'm scratching my wrists, breathing heavily.

"Louis?" Zayn says.

"Shit....Louis" that's Harry's voice.

He goes to grab me gently but I flinch and stand up so quickly I knock the chair over.

"Don't touch me please....dddooont, don't, ttttouchhhh me" I breath out rapidly.

"Just calm down Louis, you are okay" Niall says front front of me.

"He hates me, you all do I don't.....I ddddonnt want tooooo be here anymore" I say tears brimming my eyes.

"We don't hate you kiddo, shhhhhhh, it's okay" Zayn says and he approaches me carefully.

I step back and hit the wall.

"What did I do wrong?" I ask pleading with Zayn.

"Nothing, babes. I promise you nothing" he says sympathetically.

"Louis....I'm sorry okay" Harry says."Fuck" he yells and throws his plate to the floor in anger. I flinch and crouch to the floor and hide my head in my knees.

"Where are you going Harry?" Zayn asks.

I hear footsteps and the jingle of keys

"Work, see you there" Harry says and the door slams shut.

Zayn kneels down in front of me and touches my arm, I flinch before I realise it's Zayn. He smells so comforting and I know he wouldn't hurt me.

"I'm so sorry Lou" Zayn says.

"Harry, he just....he is just a little confused and stressed out about a few things. I promise you he doesn't hate you" he tells me gently.

I look towards him and he brushes my fringe off my face.

Niall comes over and kneels down in front of me too. Liam is busy cleaning up Harry's mess.

"He doesn't want me here, I tried to leave but he wouldn't let me. I just don't understand. I....I.....all I've wanted for the last five years is Harry, I missed him so much. I knew he hated me, but I thought he might have changed his mind and wanted to at least be friends........he still doesn't want anything to do with me though" I whisper out shakily.

"Ohhhh Lou,if only you knew" Niall says.

I have no idea what Niall means by that, I need to cut I want to feel the blade run over my pathetic wrist, reminding my of why Harry hates me, why I'm bullied at school, why I'm such a fuck up. Zayn reaches out for me and I go willingly into his arms. He sits down on the floor and I grab onto him for dear life. I fist my hands into his shirt and bury my head in his neck, he is so comfortable and I feel safe with Zayn, his smell is so familiar and To be hugged feels so nice. I can feel his love and protection from his arms and I break down and sob.

"Shhhhhhh, it's okay kid, it's okay" Zayn whispers over and over.

Eventually I stop crying and I slowly release Zayn. He looks me in the eyes and wipes my tears off my face.