I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 8

"What's there to be confused about, you're pushing him away and I want to know why?" Niall asks.

"Because....... Because I can't get attached, I'm scared of loosing him" I say as I go back to making pancakes.

"Yet you're happy to loose him by pushing him away? And why would you loose him anyway?" Niall asks confused.

"It's complicated Ni, I don't want to talk about it right now" I say calmly.

"Okay I trust ya, I just hope you know what you are doing H, I'm eager to see how it plays out" Niall says smiling.

I sigh and start mixing the batter together.

"So he says he's leaving tomorrow, are you going to let him?" Niall asks casually.

"If he wants to go, then he can go. He can suffer the consequences with mum and Jay" I say.

I honestly don't want him to leave but I can't stop him and I won't tell him to stay if he doesn't want to. I know he had no choice coming here, but mum and Jay made it perfectly clear that if it wasn't working I could send him back at any time.

"Harry" Niall whines, "you're actually telling me that you won't regret letting him go? If you do then I can pretty much say 100% that you won't ever see him again. You think he deserves you walking out of his life again?" Niall asks.

"He doesn't want to stay he told me that, I can't make him do something he doesn't want to do. He flinches every time I try to touch him, I'm not going to hurt the kid" I say.

"Are you actually listening to yourself. You are being so selfish. He doesn't want to stay because he thinks you don't want him to and from the way you have been treating him I don't blame him. He admitted to you yesterday that he has been beat up at school badly for the last five years and you think In a week he is just going to forget that? you were the only one he let touch him when he first got here and if that doesn't say something I don't know what does. I sure as hell don't want him to go. I want to see this through and I want to spend more time with him. You've never given up on one of our street kids before Harry. Why the hell would you give up on your own brother because your scared of being in love with him. Grow up Harry" Niall says harshly and he walks off towards his room.

Niall must be angry, he never yells and he never walks away from food. I let his words sink in and I'm pulling out my iPhone before I can stop myself. I call the train station and cancel Louis ticket. I then make my way up to his room and barge in. He isn't in his room and I panic before I notice the bathroom door is shut. I make my over and knock loudly.

"Louis!" I say.

"Um yeah?" I hear a timid voice say.

"Can you come out here please" I ask still a little coldly.

"Um I'm just about to shower....I'm ughhh naked" he says.

A million inappropriate thoughts run through my head and my breathing picks up. I need to adjust myself I'm my pants thinking about Louis naked body, it makes me angry and mad at myself.

"Okay well you can listen through the door then, I've called and cancelled your ticket home. You will not be getting out of kitchen duty and cooking that easily. While you are here, what I say goes and I expect you to be downstairs in 10 for breakfast" I tell him.

I wait for his response but I don't get one. What I do hear is sniffling and I know Louis is crying. I want nothing more than to go in there and comfort him and wrap him up in my arms. The poor kid I feel awful but I have to stick to my guns. I sigh and walk out the door, back downstairs and go to finish the pancakes.