I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 8

"No!" I yell, I can't let him see my blood stained clothes.

Harry looks at me stunned and a little angry.

"I.....I mean I'll do it for you" I say and I take his clothes and chuck them quickly in with mine, put detergent in and turn it on.

Harry backs curiously away from me and leans on the door frame, watching me.

I turn around and we make eye contact and stare at each other awkwardly. His green eyes stare at mine and his face seems to soften. He then coughs awkwardly and turns to walk into the kitchen. I sigh and make my way out. The laundry leads onto the kitchen and I stand awkwardly in the doorway.

"I'm making pancakes would you like some?" He asks me, as he bends down to grab the frypan.

"No, I'm fine" is my initial reaction. I don't even think about it anymore I just say it.

"Louis, how about you just humour me and say you would love some" Harry says.

"Um why? I was just going to get out of your way and go to my room" I say.

Why would he want me around still, he clearly finds me annoying and is still upset with me.

" Louis" he starts.

"It's fine Haz, I've already booked a train ticket home. The train doesn't leave until tomorrow though. I'll be here just one more night and then I will be out of your hair. I can find my own way to the station too so don't worry, I won't bother you." I tell him sadly.

"Wha?.....Louis....no!" He says. And steps towards me, I instinctively step back.

"You think that's what I want?" He asks dumbfounded.

"I know it is, I clearly annoy the shit out if you. I understand you tried to put up with me and be nice but it's not worth it anymore. It's okay Harry I get it. I'm sorry you have a brother who is such a fuck up, I really really didn't mean to upset you or make you mad. I want you to be happy Haz, you and the boys were happy together before I came and you can get back to that when I'm gone. I love you Haz, thanks for even trying to love me too." I say and I begin to walk off up to my room.

HARRYS POV.

Fuck, I watch Louis walk away and realise I have really fucked this up. I put down the frypan and run my hands through my hair. I woke up in the hopes of being nice and loving towards Louis again. I wanted to get back to wear we were before, when he first came. He was beginning to trust me and open up and I want that so badly. Every time I look at him though, my heart rate picks up and I have the urge to pin him against a wall and fuck him senseless. I've been having dreams about Louis, sexual dreams and I'm so attracted to him. I'm slowly slipping back into my old ways when I was 18 and found him attractive, after he walked out yesterday and he fainted. I just got so worried and felt like my world was crashing down around me and I was loosing control. My protective side came out and I didn't like it. My instincts told me to put my walls up with Louis again, so I did the only thing I know how to do. Be mean to him, push him away. When he fell yesterday I felt my heart stop, it made me think what would happen if we were in an actual relationship. I can't control his safety and every move and being mean and pushing him away is easier to deal with than admitting I'm actually in love with Louis. It's easier than admitting that I can't deal with something happening to him. I don't want to hurt him though and that's all I'm doing. I'm so confused right now and it's only been five days. I can't let him leave though, I would never forgive myself and regret it so much if I didn't try and at least be a big brother to Louis. That's what he needs right now a big brother.

"I thought you said you would stop being mean to him" Niall's voice startles me from my thoughts.

"Please don't Ni, I'm so confused right now" I say.