I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 7

So he does want to send me home, I've really disappointed him. It's only a matter of time before he leaves me again. He won't stick around.

I look back at my food. As the boys turn back to there's. I don't reply to Harry.

"You will be on kitchen duty and be cleaning up after dinner every night for a week. You will also be cooking dinner for the next week. Understand" Harry says.

"Um I can't...cook" I say. I burn water.

"Learn" he snaps.

I look back at my plate.

"You aren't leaving this table until that meal is finished" Harry continues.

"But...I" I start.

Harry turns and glares at me. He is being so mean, I want to cry. I start on my fish taking small bites while the boys finish up. Zayn is first to finish and heads over to the kitchen with his plate. He starts emptying his leftovers into the bin.

"Leave it Z, it's Louis job" Harry says his tone not as cold when talking to Zayn.

Zayn sighs but leaves his plate and heads to the lounge room to watch TV.

Half an hour later all the boys have finished and are watching TV together. Andy has left having to go to work. I'm still at the table, eating my dinner. I'm not even halfway through it. It's cold now but I don't want to eat anymore. I put my fork down and lean back in my chair, I subconsciously play with my sleeves.

"You can thank Andy for me letting you leave the table" Harry's voice brings me out of my thoughts.

I look towards him and he is looking at me expectantly. I gather my plate and take it into the kitchen, I begin to clean up everything, silently thanking Andy for talking to Harry. I'm just putting the last plate in the dishwasher 20 mins later when Zayn walks in, he walks to the fridge and pulls a bottle of water out. He then grabs some tablets and hands them and the water to me. I take them and he feels my forehead.

"You're still warm, take those and get some sleep" he tells me.

I don't argue as I feel like shit, I down the water and tablets and go to give Zayn the water back. As I do though Zayn nudges my left wrist and I nearly scream in pain, it hurts so badly. I yank my hand away and wince so obviously.

"Lou?" Zayn asks.

"Sorry" I say hoping he will drop it.

"Is something wrong with your arm?" Zayn asks.

"Um....no I just um hurt it skating is all" I lie, saying the first thing that comes into my head.

"Can I look?" He asks.

"No!" I yell and step backwards away from him. Fear in my eyes.

"What's going on?" Harry comes into the kitchen to ask.

"Louis hurt his arm and won't let me look at it" Zayn dobs on me.

"Louis? Why didn't you say anything?" Liam asks, walking in with Niall.

"It's fine, just a graze" I say looking down.

"Well must be a hell of a graze for you to react like that" Zayn says. "You almost jumped through the roof" he says concerned.

"Let me see'" Harry demands.

I'll be damned if I let him anywhere near me now, I was starting to trust Harry, his warm arms and gentle touch. After today though, there is no way I want him near me. I don't trust him not to hurt me. He walks closer and my eyes widen in panic, he reaches out but I react on instinct thinking he is about to punch me.

"Don't hurt me please" I yell and crouch in the corner, my hands reach over my head to shield it from impact.

"Shit....Louis, no....I would never hurt you" Harry says gently, crouching down.

I don't believe him one bit.

"Please don't touch me....leave me alone please" I beg him from behind my arms.

"I'm sorry" Harry says and moves backwards away from me.

I take the chance to run out of the room and into my bed. I pull the covers over my head and break down. I cry and cry until there is nothing left. I fall asleep hating myself, which is definitely nothing new.

HARRYS POV.

"What's gotten into you H?" Niall asks me when Louis has left the kitchen.

I sigh. I was so worried about Louis and the fact that he has no concern for himself really upset me. I understand I may have handled my emotions wrong, but I didn't know how else to express my worry other than trying to control the situation.

"I was so worried Ni, I didn't mean to be so mean..... I just, when he collapsed I freaked out. I was worried" I tell Niall.

He comes over and puts his arm around me.

"I understand H, I do. I know how you are....heck we all know you....but Louis doesn't. He hasn't seen you in five years mate and he needs your love and understanding" Niall tells me gently.

"You can still lay down the law H, but the poor kid is scared shitless now, you didn't have to get so angry. Liam says.

"I know, I'm sorry....I've really fucked up now" I say as I rub my hands over my face.

"He will come round H, just don't be so hard on him. He has been here less than a week and you've yelled at him a lot. He is out of his comfort zone too remember, he's on our turf and that must be just as hard, possibly harder on him" Zayn reminds me.

"Yeah, I should have known better" I say.

I will find a way to make it up to Louis, I will.

We all say our good nights and head up to bed, I've got two days left before I'm back at work and hopefully I can fix things with Louis. After my shower I head to check on Louis, he is curled up in the blankets and looks adorable. I hope he will forgive me and we can start over again. I want Louis in my life, it's complicated though and I try and push my thoughts aside and not let them overtake my mind like five years ago.

You're to old for Louis
He's just a kid
He will never love you back
It's wrong.

Louis needs me and I need him, I can't let my thoughts push him away again and I will do everything possible to not let that happen.