I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 5

"It's okay Harry, I know it was because in gay and I disgust you, I understand and I don't blame you for leaving. I'm a failure and I disappoint everyone" I tell him.

Harry shifts so he is facing me, he gently reaches out and cups my face.

"Louis, wha?.....no sweetheart, that's not.....that's not why at all. I am so so sorry you have thought that all these years...it's nothing like that" he says.

I look him in the eyes as he swipes his thumbs over my cheeks softly, it's such a caring gesture and I feel things that make my stomach flutter. Harry is so gentle and loving and so fit and attractive.

"I left Louis...because I.....because I developed" Harry starts but we are interrupted by a knock on the door.

Harry groans quietly and moves away from me.

"Come in" he says.

The door opens and Andy comes in, smiling brightly.

"Good morning how's the patient this morning ?" Andy asks and I smile slightly.

"I'm okay" I say and look down at my hands, I start playing with my sleeves again.

"Okay well, I'm just going to check you over again Lou and we will see about getting this drip out" Andy tells me as he sets up.

"Harry, Niall needs you downstairs, asked me to get you to come down" Andy tells Harry.

My eyes go wide, I don't want Harry to leave me. I don't miss the looks that they give each other like a silent agreement. Harry turns back to me and sees my face.

"It's okay Louis, I'm just going downstairs. I promise I'll be right back" Harry tells me reassuringly, cupping my cheek.

I slowly nod at him but I'm anything but comfortable,I'm scared to be alone with Andy. Harry kisses my forehead and leaves the room. Andy ushers me over to the edge of the bed and kneels down in front of me.

"Okay let's check that temperature of yours" he smiles.

He is really nice and I want to trust him but I can't let people get too close to me, it always ends in heartache and them hating me. I can't let anyone know my secrets.

"It's still a bit high Lou, I think we can take the drip out though, if you promise me you will keep your fluids up and a bit of food" he asks me.

I don't want the drip In anymore so I nod my head at him.

"Goodo" he says.

I chuckle quietly at his words, I've never heard someone say goodo before.

"Glad you find me amusing" Andy says smiling brightly.

I smile shyly back at him.

"Look, I know you don't trust me Louis, and I completely understand that. I know this is all new and hard and you have been shoved into a situation you weren't prepared for. I get that. I want you to know though, that you can talk to me about anything. Anything you say to me is confidential, no one will know. Not Harry, not your parents. Unless you want them too" he tells me.

I sigh and watch as Andy starts on fixing my hand.

"I.....I didn't even get asked if I wanted to come here" I find myself saying.

There is something about Andy that makes me want to open up, just a little.

"I know, do you think it was unfair?" He asks.

"Yes because they all think I'm some delinquent kid who needs help getting back on track, they couldn't be further from the truth. Just because I don't want to talk to my mums doesn't mean I'm going off the rails" I say frustratedly.