I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 3

we nod in agreement.

"And his mum said it's never happened before?" Andy asks.

"Nope, never even shown signs of one" Niall says.

Andy sighs and leans back in his seat, lost in thought.

"Okay, typically kids with eating disorders will still eat but control there eating with throwing up and portions, they will calculate calories and overload there mind with good and bad thoughts about food. They become anxious around food and if that was what had caused Louis panic attack I would say that yes, definitely, we need to look further into him having an eating disorder but. He doesn't sound like he has one, it sounds like there is an underlying issue and he isn't eating, not because he doesn't want to, but because he actually isn't hungry. This can be caused by depression and if you say he looks sad and empty then we need to think that maybe he has some form of depression. I feel though from what you have all said, that there is a reason for it. The fact that when you try to touch him he flinches ect. These are signs that there is something else happening and he obviously doesn't want to talk about it. He is either too scared or ashamed to open up. That's were I come in, actually we all come in" Andy says.

That makes so much sense and I'm relieved to hear that Louis probably doesn't have an eating disorder.

"Okay, so what do we do?" Zayn says.

"Well, I would like to meet him, as a friend. We need to respect the fact he doesn't want to talk yet and we need to not pressure him into eating or talking. I know it's worrying but I'm here now and I know when to step in if I need to treat him for malnourishment, I can watch him in that sense. We need him to feel safe and that he can trust us and then he may start talking" Andy tells us.

"Okay......yeah, that sounds like a good plan" I say.

Even though I won't stop worrying I won't pressure Louis into doing anything he doesn't feel comfortable with, I trust Andy to know what he is doing.

The boys all hum in agreement. Suddenly we are brought out of our discussion by a very loud yell.

"HARRY!!!!!!"

"Shit" I swear and I'm up out of my chair and running towards Louis room. The boys and Andy following closely behind me.

"HARRY, MAKE THEM STOP PLEASE!!" Louis screams again as I barge into his room.

I see Louis on the bed, he is still asleep. He is having a nightmare and is tossing and turning. Tears are rolling down his face and his shirt has lifted up a little and we all see it, there are bruises all over his body. Niall gasps and we all look at each other.

"Don't touch me please, let go" Louis yells, still asleep.

It's enough to break me out of my thoughts and I run to the bed and hop up beside Louis.

"Louis, kiddo....it's me its Harry, I'm here.....wake up Lou" I say gently.

I card my hands gently through his hair, In the hopes that he will wake up.

"Louis, wake up, you are having a nightmare" I say to him gently.

Louis eyes then pop open and he gasps for air, he is sweating and breathing irregularly.

He looks at me but he doesn't see me and he scoots back on the bed afraid. He leans back on the headboard and he tucks his knees up to his chest, trying to get away.

"Hey,hey,hey. Lou, it's me ,its Harry. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you" I tell him gently.

He seems to register my voice and looks at me, his eyes are screaming with pain and I want to fix it.

"Harry?" he questions.

"Yeah bud I'm here" I reassure him.

Suddenly he throws himself at me, his arms going around my neck. He buries his head in my shoulder and just sobs. I grab him tightly and I manoeuvre myself so I'm leaning against the headboard and Louis is straddling me.

"It's okay, I've got you, it's okay" I tell him as. I stroke his hair.

I see the boys at the door and Andy is looking worried. He ushers the boys out of the room and gestures for me to come down stairs when Louis is settled. I nod my head and turn my attention back to Louis.

"Shhhhh, it's okay, it's okay, you're safe" I reassure him.

"Go back to sleep, I'm here sweetheart'" I say.

Eventually his sobs die down and he falls asleep against me. I'm comfortable and I love having Louis in my arms but I need to go talk to Andy. I tuck Louis back into bed and I kiss his forehead and reluctantly leave the room. When I make it downstairs I hear the hushed voices of the boys in the Lounge. Liam spots me first.

"It's going to be a long three months I think" he says worriedly.

"Yeah, I think so" I respond.

"Well we all saw the bruises, which means someone has put them there. We need to find out who and why" Andy says.

"I'll call mum in the morning, see if she knows anything" I say.

"Good idea, just don't let Louis know you saw just yet. I will come over tomorrow morning, to meet Louis officially okay" Andy says getting up.

We walk him to the door and thank him for coming over. We all say our good nights and head to bed. Before I get to my room ,I stand at Louis door for a while just watching him sleep, his breaths coming out of his mouth and his chest going up and down slowly. I'm attached now and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. The thing is this time, I don't want my feelings to change, instead I want Louis to reciprocate them.