I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 1

Shit, now what am I going to say? I can't tell them the truth. Apart from it being completely embarrassing, plus the fact I can't even stand up for myself. I don't want them to worry either.

"I.....I'm" I start.

"Listen Louis" my mum pipes up now and her tone is anything but gentle like Anne's.

"We are going to give you one chance to come clean and tell us what's really going on. One chance Louis" my mum speaks clearly upset.

Anne places her hand on top of my mums in a loving gesture, calming her down.

"I.....there isn't anything going on, I'm fine I just......hate.....I hate school" I lie not looking at either of them.

At that my mum is out of her chair in an instant, she starts pacing the room.

"Jay" Anne says calmly.

"We know that's a lie Louis....and I can't do it anymore" she says angrily.

She reaches over to the kitchen draw and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and my stash of weed, she has clearly been snooping in my room.

"Care to explain that??" She spits angrily. Placing her hands on the table and hovering over me.

"I promise I didn't smoke the weed, I was just given it at school. I haven't smoked it I swear" I say back defensively.

It's the truth I haven't smoked it, I was going too but I haven't had a chance yet.

"The fact that you have it is enough!!" My mum shouts.

"Louis, we have been talking and we obviously missed this slip that has happened and we have tried to give you space in the hope you come around and talk to us, but it hasn't worked. You just keep going down the wrong path and this just confirms our suspicions" Anne says gently to me.

"We are so disappointed Louis, you're skipping school, you're on drugs and it's not acceptable. You're failing your subjects and its stopping right now" my mum says to me.

"Wha??....I...but, I'm.....not failing" I scramble to say.

"That's your excuse??? That's all you can say right now young man?" My mum shouts.

"Johanna please, I know you're worried but you getting angry isn't helping" Anne tells her, she rubs her thumb over my mums hand then looks back towards me.

"Listen Louis, we think it's best if we........if you.....we are sending you to live with Harry for a while, we just think it's what you need right now" Anne tells me.

"What??? You're sending me away?? I'm sorry I....I'll go to school I will...I promise. Please" I start but Anne shushes me.

"Louis, it's not meant to be a punishment, we have spoken to Harry, he works with kids who are going off track everyday" Anne starts.

Going off track? I'm not going off track, I'm bullied at school and skipping is my only escape. It's not like I'm hanging out with a gang and shooting up at the park.

"I'm not going of track!" I shout standing up.

"We think this is what you need honey, another male in your life.....we all agree this is the right thing to do" my mum says, a lot calmer now.

"What about what I think? What if I don't want to go??" I yell.

"I'm sorry Lou, your train leaves tomorrow afternoon, Harry and the boys are expecting you tomorrow night" Anne tells me.

Tears sting my eyes, how can they decide something like this without consulting me, I haven't seen Harry in nearly five years, we haven't spoken in forever. I don't want to go live with him or the boys, they are practically strangers. They think I'm going off the rails which couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm being punished for something that isn't happening. I don't have any options though, I can't tell them what's really going on. My thoughts become overwhelming and I just need to be alone. I run from the kitchen without saying another word to Anne or my mother. As I leave I can hear Anne comforting my mum and it makes me upset that I made her cry.