Can You Chase Away The Darkness?

Maybe We're Meant to Lose the Ones We Love...

Chapter Five: Maybe We’re Meant to Lose the Ones We Love…

- Claire’s P.O.V. -

The next month passed largely without incident. Jaime and I grew closer and I became better friends with both Vic and Jenna. I attended more jam nights and even showed off some of my guitar skills. Jaime and I were the first to complete the History project with plenty of time to go, which gave us a Wednesday night to fill with shenanigans. More often than not we would still end up at my place, with Vic, Mike, Tony and often Jenna or Taylor, eating takeout food and watching ‘80’s movies or bad sitcoms on TV. Lindsey and I ignored each other as best we could whenever we were forced together and I always tried to make it as clear as possible that Jaime and I were just friends. Whenever we were in maths and I was forced to sit next to her, the entire session was spent on the verge of having a panic attack. I pushed past these feelings, however, not allowing my anxiety to get the better of me. By the end of the month, I was feeling quite comfortable at my new school and with my new friends.

It was a Monday morning and I was feeling quite happy, despite the fact it was Monday morning. I’d just had business and history with Jaime so my spirits were high. I was a little apprehensive about math (the class I was walking to) but nothing more had happened with Lindsey so I ignored the feelings. I was nearing the class room when someone slammed into my arm. My books tumbled and I stopped to pick them up.

“God, get out of the way, fatty,” came a snarky voice. I looked up to someone in high shorts, stockings and a singlet with dyed red hair entering the maths classroom. I instantly knew it was Hayley. I rolled my eyes – pettiness was not attractive. I quickly gathered my books and made my way into the room. I looked for Jenna, who I normally sat next to. She was nowhere to be seen so I simply choose a seat at random. The class went along well enough – I was getting through the work fine without the looming threat of Lindsey beside me. That was until I heard muttering behind me. I recognised the voices as Lindsey’s and Hayley’s and couldn’t help but listen in.

“Couldn’t she have sat somewhere else?” I heard Lindsey say. My anxiety immediately told me that I was who they were talking about. I ignored the feeling and continued working, assuming they were talking about someone beside them. It was a few seconds later that I heard a comment that would confirm my initial fears. “I mean, I can hardly see the board!” I froze, a sinking feeling in my stomach. They were talking about me. It had been a while since I’d had people taunt me behind my back. I ignored the girls for the rest of the class, slowly making my way to lunch. Their words mulled over in my mind and I was no longer feeling good about today. I sat at the lunch table with Jaime and everyone, not bothering to get any food.

“Hey, you alright, Claire?” asked Vic a little way through lunch. I looked up, feeling kind of out of it. I nodded and fixed a smile on my face.

“How come you’re not eating lunch? Do you want me to shout you something?” Rian offered sweetly. While he often played the “tough guy” role, along with Mike and Zack, he was a real sweetheart.

“I’m not hungry, thanks though,” I said quietly, looking back down at the table. I fiddled with my hands again.

“It’s probably for the best – she shouldn’t be eating anything,” I heard a quiet voice say behind me. I turned around suddenly – there was no one there and I slowly relaxed and turned back around.

“Whoa, you okay?” Jaime asked, his eyes concerned. I nodded, looking across the table. Lindsey and Hayley had just reached the other side. Both of them smiled at me and I felt tears rise within me. I got up from the table and rushed from the cafeteria, ignoring everyone’s calls to stop and come back.