Memory Documentation

chapter two | documenting trying with courage

I wasn't completely sure why I wanted to hide from him. Based on our last conversation, we're on rocky terms until either one of us decides to initiate another talk. Would that be me? I'm not sure. I'm not even sure what I was, or should be, feeling. I was torn between being apologetic for losing touch and angry that he made me out to be a bad person for losing touch in the first place. Losing touch can be a two-way thing!

I dropped my face into my arms with a groan of frustration. "This sucks!" I muffled into the sleeves of my sweater.

"Oh, come on, Darce." Ben jabbed at my side, making me jerk away with a squeak. It only made me angrier, like a bear being poked by a stick. He snuffed it out when he threw an arm around my shoulder with a laugh. "I'm just teasing, kid."

I wrinkled my nose at him. "You're only seven years older than me."

"Almost a decade," he pointed out, tapping my nose. "You're so young," he cooed.

"You're so old," I shot back, knowing full well he wasn't old at all. At twenty-three, he and his girlfriend of eight years were going to move to Texas once she graduates with her master's degree next year. He still has so much to experience.

From across the table, Ronnie rolled her eyes at the two of us. "If that's the case, I'm ancient."

"Ah, yes! Middle aged!"

She glared at him. "Thirty is not middle aged."

He winked back. "Just teasing, just teasing. But really, Darce" – he draped his arm around my shoulder again and gave me a little shake – "this really isn't a big deal. You guys lost touch, so what? Happens all the time. That's how life goes. You lose people along the ride while some hold on a little while longer. But you're back in NY now, so he can just come back on. No biggie."

"And sometimes there's some people you have to push off so they're not weighing you down along your journey," Ronnie piped in, expression looking faraway. I knew there were some rough bumps in the road for her. She was completely lost in what to do with her life when her parents refused to help her through culinary school. Their wish for their daughter was to be a doctor, but the medical field wasn't where her heart was.

"Exactly." Ben nodded. "I know you've struggled to find some friends since you've been back" – since I moved to California, actually – "but some friendly advice: when you find someone who makes you laugh so fucking hard you have to take a moment to actually breathe, keep 'em. You shouldn't have to bring people on the drive with you if they don't make you feel welcomed. It's your car. You choose the passengers."

"It's a good thing I have you guys, then." I smiled.

"Of course," Ronnie replied, crossing her arms. "I'll smack you upside the head and try to steer you in the right direction if you're going off road. Trust me."

"Oh, I don't doubt you," I drawled, knowing full well that she'll do that and more.

Bumpy as this ride may be, I'm glad I found a friend in these two.

✿❀✿

    "Yes, Papa. Ben left a little bit ago because he had to help Cass with some homework, but I'm fine closing up on my own. He helped with cleaning before he left." My phone was dangerously close to falling with its unstable position between my ear and shoulder as I gathered some napkin holders. I've seen one of the waitress's do it all the time with ease; I don't know how she does it.

"Come in and say goodnight before you head to bed, okay?"

"You got it, boss man," I replied. "I'll be home soon. Bye."