Flawless In His Eyes {Completed}

19: Is This It?

"I want to wash your hair." He whispers and I let out a surprised yelp as he swiftly twists my body around. He grabs the shampoo since the glob that was already massaged into my scalp rinsed off during our kiss.

"Okay." I gasp out, the steam isn't really helping me with my whole breathing situation. The feeling of his hands expertly running through my tresses, massaging and tugging just the way I like it. I groan as he starts massaging my shoulders and neck.

Next he combs the conditioner through my hair, admiring each blue and black strand.

"I love your hair." He murmurs into my ear, biting down on my earlobe. I twist back around and he catches me before I slip. Noah pulls me into his chest, his arms tightening after I slipped mine around his waist, the skin tightly pulled over what I assume is pure muscle.

"I love you." I whisper back and this makes him kiss the top of my hair, even though it's still covered in conditioner. I know this is the moment to ask him about his thoughts on kids. I quickly rinse off the remaining conditioner and Noah helps me out of the shower since I always fall out.
He grabs a towel and wraps it around my body for me before wrapping one low on his hips. My baby bump isn't showing yet, but the skin is slightly tighter and harder. Noah hasn't noticed yet, probably assuming it's muscle.

I lead Noah to our bed and he sits with his legs spread, inviting me to sit in between them and lay on his chest like I always do after a shower together.

"Noah?" I call, his fingers are softly running up and down my arm; I love that feeling. He knows exactly what to do for me to relax and feel safe, even when I'm naked- in a towel.

He mumbles a response and I quickly continue.

"Is this it?" He tenses before relaxing.

"What do you mean, Love?"

"Is this how our life will be forever?" I don't know why I'm whispering, but I just want him to stay calm, because usually whenever I bring up children he blows up.

"Pretty much, yes. Is that a problem?" He's not defensive, just genuinely curious, but he might get defensive when I ask him about kids.

"No, of course not. I just expected us to have a little more, you know?" The question almost refuses to jump ship and leave my tongue, but my mind pushed it off the plank.

"Well, we still have the Luna Ceremony to prepare and make it official." I sigh and nod my head. Clearly he knows what I'm getting at. He always brings the Luna Ceremony up whenever we talk about our future. He always tries to evade the baby question.

"W-what about children?" Walk the plank.
Noah tenses and slowly removes himself from underneath me. He stalks to the closet, speaking from the inside,

"What about children?" I cringe at the hint of anger in his tone. His voice is tight and it's clear he's talking through his teeth.

"Uhm, w-when are we going to, uh, you know, have some?" I hesitantly ask and he storms out of the closet dressed in a black t-shirt and some sweatpants.

"Hopefully not anytime soon, if any at all." He grits out. I try to control the tears, absentmindedly rubbing my stomach, but Noah doesn't notice the movement.

"Why not?" I am treading in dangerous territory here. I never get these questions answer.

"Because, Blaze. I don't want kids! I hate my parents for abandoning me to lead the pack because they were grieving and I don't want a child to feel like I did! I just don't want to have a child who will despise me one day and quite frankly, I don't need anymore distractions from work. I already have you, which is a handful as it is." I gasp and tears start falling down my cheeks. I suck it up, because I know he didn't mean that. He loves me.