You Help Me Live (Camren)

Chapter 21: Redemption (Lauren's P.O.V)

"I just, I don't know what came over me. You might have had your moments, but you had always been my best friend. I don't know why I wanted to hurt you so bad." She said and I could hear unshed tears stinging her words.  

"You know, I could honestly care less that you told everyone about Camila and me. It obviously doesn't matter now." I said following my sentence with a dry laugh. I felt her place her arms around me and lay her head on top of mine. 

"I saw what you two have. There is no way in hell that Camila just let all that go. I admit, I don't know her all that well, but you don't let that stuff go." She said this and I did want to believe her; but I couldn't.  

Every time I tried to believe what Normani was saying, I was taken back to the bathroom and Camila telling me what she had. 

"You didn't hear what she said Mani." I said as I leaned into her embrace a bit more. I questioned myself on using my old nickname for her, but dismissed it because I really didn't care. 

"I actually did. I was in the bathroom from the moment you walked in, to the moment you left. Camila didn't see me leave though." I couldn't believe that Normani had heard everything, and it made me a bit embarrassed.  

"Why did you come after me?" I said lifting my head from my hands and gazing into her eyes. She thought for a moment and then looked away. When she turned back towards me, I knew she had what she was going to say. 

"I guess that even if you were still mad at me, I couldn't let my best friend cry." She said this and I saw the tears that I had heard earlier slowly fall from her eyes. They shined in the light of the sun that still wasn't high in the sky. 

"We're best friends Mani. We always make up." I said and moved my arms to wrap her into a hug. She hugged me back and I felt better. I still felt the pain of what Camila said, but hugging someone, who meant so much to me, filled a crumb of the canyon sized gap in my heart. 

"I saw her face Lauren." Normani said, still holding me in the hug, even if I was no longer hugging back. The only face I had seen on Camila before I ran out was her anger filled one, so I didn't know what Normani was talking about. 

"She felt bad for what she said. I think she's hurting just as bad as you are." Normani said finally releasing me from the hug. I looked into her eyes and saw that she wasn't lying, and thought about the fact that maybe Camila just said what she did because she truly is hurting. 

"She doesn't look like she's hurting." I said in an annoyed tone. I wanted Normani to be right, but I didn't want to give myself false hope. In all honesty, Camila really did look like her normal self. It was like nothing was affecting her whatsoever.  

"Some people don't always look like they are suffering Lauren. You should know that better than anyone. Some people prefer to ache in the privacy of their bed or on the floor of their bathroom. It varies I guess."  

"I just, I love her." I said all at once. I can't explain why I said it; maybe I wanted to clarify it to myself. I would never stop trying to make her mine. I still regretted my decision to say goodbye, and I still regretted not getting to know her better. I envied the fact that she could look so well put together and at least pretend like it didn't bother her. 

"I know Lauren. I have never seen you 'love' anyone before. In all honesty, I didn't think you could. I see the way you look at her though. I see the hidden smirks when you think about her in class. I'm not sure you ever noticed it Lauren, but when you 'love', you love hard." Normani said in a slightly playful tone obviously trying to lighten the mode. I didn't even realize that I did half the stuff she was mentioning. It made since though; everything about Camila made me happy.