You Help Me Live (Camren)

Chapter 21: Redemption (Lauren's P.O.V)

DO NOT WATCH THE VIDEO BEFORE FINISHING THE CHAPTER!!!! (It will mean more if you read the chapter first; trust me ;)  )

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Lauren's P.O.V: 

To say that it hurt would be an understatement. It didn't just hurt. It burned and slashed at every living thing that still functioned in my body. It ripped and tore at my brain trying to make it comprehend.  

Did she really mean what she had said? Could she really just let 'us' go so easily like the water off a ducks back? She said she loved me; she kissed me; she wanted me to hold her in my arms; yet now it means nothing. 

I ran down the hallways from the bathroom hearing gasp when people saw that it was me crying. I'm supposed to be this strong person, but now I was sobbing in full sprint down the halls. 

I finally made it to the front door and exited the school building before anyone could stop me. The front lawn was fairly empty, so not too many people gave me weird looks. Although I was still crying, I forced myself to stop and look for Ally's car. I remembered that we had parked near the big tree, and headed in that direction in another full on sprint. 

Once I reached the car, I saw that it was locked and that I would have to either go find Ally, or wait. Seeing as there was no way that I was going back in that school, I knew that I would have to wait. I went around to the front of the car that was parked the farthest from the road where no one could easily see me and sunk onto the ground. 

I leaned my head back on the car and prayed that no one had seen me run here. I just wanted to be left alone right now. I regretted ever considering that I loved Camila. I regretted the heart felt kisses and long and gentle touches that I had showered her with. I wanted to take everything back and leave her without any memory of the fact that I once called her mine. 

I placed my head into my hands, and immediately they were drenched with the salty, warm tears that were pouring from my eyes. I curled my knees up to my chest and sat there on the ground. My heart felt like it would just fall out of my body with one false move. It had been shaken, and scarred so much that it no longer had a place in my chest. 

"Lauren, you know Camila didn't mean it." I heard a soft voice from behind me. It sounded a bit out of breath, and I knew that they must have run after me. Without thinking, I assumed who it was and responded. 

"What if she did Ally? What if she honestly meant that every moment we had was nothing to her? What if she honestly never cared?" I said this and pulled my knees tighter into my chest. 

"Lauren, do you still hate me?" The question threw me off guard and I wasn't positive why Ally would think that I would ever hate her. She hadn't done anything wrong. 

"Ally, why would I hate you?" I said as I lifted my head from my hands and turned it to see her face. The girl standing before me wasn't Ally at all; it was Normani. A surge of anger ran through me and I wanted to punch the girl in front of me. I tried to move and strangle her, but my body wouldn't allow me to do it.  

The memories of all the fun times we had had together, and the laughs we had shared rushed into my head and made me want to smile. She really was my best friend for a really long time. 

"As much as I want to hate you, I can't take being mad at anyone else." I said as I placed my head back into my hands. I heard a slight sigh of what seemed like relief and then I felt a presence sitting down beside me. 

"I'm sorry that I was such a bitch." She said in a sincere voice. I didn't really know how to respond so I figured I could just let her continue.