Silent

chapter 22 - "rough day"

when I looked at him, his head was still, but his eyes were looking down at the pavement.

a gloss layer covered his eyes, a pink tint plastered onto the skin underneath them.

he was taking slow, calming breaths through his noise.

I rubbed my lips together, then looked out to yard.

a long silence took over us, neither of us saying anything.

after only a couple of long moments, his raspy voice suddenly caught my ear.

"this is where I first talked to you." his cut up voice spoke.

I turned my head to him, my whole body feeling heavy.

his head turned in my direction, eyes looking up to me.

not knowing what to say, I nodded slightly, then turning my head to look back down at the pavement.

"I don't want to hurt you." he spoke again, my heart immediately dropping.

everything inside of me felt like it was on pause. my eyes stared at the ground, instead of blinking.

I know where this is going.

"every part of me was trying to tell myself that what izzy did to me is wrong, that I shouldn't forgive her." he explained weakly. "but i do, I forgive her."

my eyes closed lightly in a defeat trying to process everything that is being pushed into my brain.

I opened my eyes, taking a deep breath in. "you brought me back here to break up with me." i spoke out loud so I could hear it for myself.

"my intensions have never been to hurt you, that's why I pushed you away for so long." he told me.

"I know, ethan." my lips rubbed together, "I just put so much of my time in trying to help you get over her, when in the end, you're just running back to her."

my eyes looked down to my hands as they began to play with each other as the conversation became more uncomfortable.

his head turned straight, eyes looking out to the lawn. "I should have never brought you into this."

my eyebrows narrowed as I looked back up to him. "did our relationship mean nothing to you?"

quickly, he looked back to me. "of course it did, and it always will." his glossy eyes began to scan my every feature.

"If I didn't bring you into this, there wouldn't have been anything to lose."

my heart felt like someone was squeezing it tightly, making it heavy and beat slow.

"it's fine, ethan. im not going to be one of those petty girls that can't stand to watch you be with someone else." I told him. "I'll still be around."

apart of me just lied straight to his face.

of course it's going to hurt more. it's going to be the most painful thing I'll ever have to deal with.