Silent

chapter 21 - "happy new years"

song for chapter:
light - sleeping at last
(highly recommend + put on repeat)

my fingers played with one another as my head stayed looking downwards. my eyes were stuck on the furry rug.

my lips continued to rub together, my heart beating at an unhealthy rate.

"here." grayson handed izzy a glass of water, then sitting down onto the couch next to hannah.

weakly, she took a small sip from the glass as we all were sitting on the couches, waiting for someone to speak.

"how are you here?" ethans voice cracked painfully causing my head to slowly lift up, looking at Izzy.

she swallowed the water in her mouth, carefully putting the glass onto the coffee table. her hands rubbed up and down her thighs nervously.

"i drove." she answered, wanting to avoid answering the true question.

"don't play that shit with us, Isabelle." grayson warned being frustrated.

she looked down, nodding her head in realization that she was going to have to fess up.

"I moved back here last week." she bit onto the inside of her cheek.

"moved back here?" ethans voice was still weak, still lost.

you could hear the hurt confusion laced in his every word.

she took in a deep breath through her nose, then exhaled it out of her mouth. "last year, you both know I had major depression." she spoke softly, referring to ethan and grayson.

they both nodded slowly.

"my mom agreed to sending me off to a secret health department to help me get better, so I did." she continued on.

my head turned to ethan, his eyes were glued on her in nothing but complete sadness.

"but, I couldn't leave ethan and have him wait for me for so long. I knew he would." she explained.

"he deserved better than what I could have given him. i was so broken, I was just weight holding him down." she admit, her voice cracking in the process.

the room grew quiet.

"I faked my death, ethan." her eyes shifted up to ethans. "I faked it to you, to grayson, to everyone at school."

his eyes were glossy as they held an eye contact.

at this point, I couldn't tell what emotions he's feeling.

apart of him looks devastated, but another part looks angry.

"I needed you to forget about me, at least until I got better." she explained, but her words triggered a burning heat inside my heart.

"your mom was in on it too? she wouldn't let me see you." ethan began to put puzzle pieces together.

izzy nodded slowly as guilt consumed her inside and out.