Cold Nights Alone

A Break

     "I already paid and here everyone's food. Are you riding back with me?" She asked and I nodded. "Ok let's go," she said. "Nice meeting y'all," she said walking away. "Are you going to be ok?" Chris asked and I nodded. "I'll be fine. See y'all around," I said hugging them both and walking away. I followed Raine to her car and got in. She was still pissed...like very pissed but it was the quiet pissed and that's what makes me scared. I've never seen her like this. Her hands gripped the steering wheel and her face was blank. I wanted to ask if she was ok but I was worried that she might pop off. We pulled up to the gate of where I live. I handed her the key fob and she swiped it so we could go in. She parked in the guest parking after dropping me off at the door. I sat in the lobby waiting for her to come inside. After a couple minutes she came in smelling like polo cologne and a hint of weed. "So you weren't going to share?" I said joking and she smiled but didn't laugh. "I'll remember next time," she said smile still on her face.

     We took the elevator up to my apartment and I realized she's never been up here. "So what are you expecting," I asked making conversation. "I mean. A normal ass apartment. One bedroom...probably two bathrooms. I feel like you have an empty ass room though. A trash can and freezer full of frozen dinners," she said trying to joke. "So basically I'm a minimalist with an obsession with frozen dinners?" I asked laughing and she nodded. "Well let's see if that's true," I said walking up to my door and opening it. There was my small apartment that was actually kinda empty when I thought about it. I've had some extra money but I've never actually decorated my place. I have what I need and that's about it. "So I was right," she said looking around. She walked over to the kitchen and looked in the trash can. "Well mostly. There's no frozen dinner here," she said. "I actually cook because it's cheaper than frozen dinners," I said sitting down on the couch. She was looking through my kitchen and living room and I was confused. "What are you looking for curious George?" I asked and she looked in between my couch cushions. "The sex toys," she said bluntly and I almost choked on my spit. "Nigga what?" I said shocked. "You know, a vibrator, strap, beads, something. You seem like the type to have beads," she said and I looked confused. "Beads?" I asked. "Vibrating beads babe," she said going into my room.

    I limped over to follow her to see where she was looking at in my room. "What the fuck are those?" I asked and her mouth dropped. "Wow, you really didn't get out much did you?" She asked. "I've only been living here for two years and I was trapping off of school WiFi up until a year ago. So no I don't know what beads are except for the ones that used to be in my hair when I was 6," I said sitting on the bed. She went into my bedside tables and pulled something out. "What is this for ma'am?" She asked pulling out a bottle of lube. "Bitch don't fucking worry about it," I said and she did a double take. "Who the hell you think you talking too?" She asked walking over to where I was. "You nigga bitch," I said and she nodded. She caught me off guard and started tickling me. I couldn't get her to stop. "Say 'sorry daddy'," she said still tickling me. "Fuck you," I managed to get out in between laughs and she stopped. "I mean I could but you still hurting so I gotchu when you not a cripple any more," she said smirking getting off top of me. Oh gosh what have I started. I rolled my eyes and she went in my bathroom. "JACKPOT," she said running back out with my vibrator. "Honey, put the big girl toy back where you found it," I said laughing and she looked offended. "Said the girl who didn't know what beads were until today," she said trying to be funny. "Whatever put it back Raine," I said and she complied putting it back in the bathroom. She came back and laid on the bed next to me.

    After a while of sitting in silence I thought she was asleep. She probably was falling asleep though but she broke the silence. "Hey," she said getting my attention. "Hmm," I said playing with her dreads. "I love you," she said. "I love you too," I said back and I actually meant it. Not like the puppy love type shit like really gave my heart to her and if she breaks the shit I'll probably die. I know it sounds like an exaggeration but I've never had someone care for me like this. She looked at me and smiled as her eyes were low and she finally fell asleep. Soon after I fell asleep too. Until I heard banging on my door. "Shit," Raine said getting up. "I'll get it I said getting up and going to the door. My leg was killing me and so was my arm. I opened the door to see Trae and Kash. "WASSUP CHUMP!" Trae said barging in. "How did y'all even get up here?" I asked closing the door after Kash. "The guard owed me a favor so this was him paying his debt," she said plopping down on the couch. "Bitch so you breaking in now?" I asked and she shrugged her shoulders. "Baby who wa-.....man no," Raine said walking out of my room and then turning around. "Nigga where is you going?" Trae said and Raine flipped her off. "The disrespect man," Trae said and I looked at Kash. "What you thinking about cause you got your thinking face on," I said sitting down in one of the chairs in my living room. "I'm just confused that all and I don't exactly know how to put it in words," she said and I knew exactly what she was talking about. I explained to them what was actually going on and they both looked speechless. "I mean I'm just chilling. She hasn't attempted to contact me since and I haven't had the urge to contact her either," I said and they both nodded.

     "Maybe one day y'all will make up. It probably wouldn't be the same but y'all would still be in each other's lives," Kash said attempting to be optimistic but I just shook my head. "If it does happen it won't be happening anytime soon," I said and Kash frowned. "You gotta hope for the best kid," Trae said slapping my knee. I mean she was right. I couldn't not talk to her for the rest of my life but right now it feels like I could go my entire existence without speaking to her ever again. We talked for a while before I started feeling hungry. The Kash's stomach started growling. "Damn bae! Hungry much?" Trae said teasing her. Kash rolled her eyes and went into my kitchen. "Uh un. Get out of my kitchen. There's nothing there for you," I said and she came back with a frown. "So you just gon starve me? Wow that ain't right. I thought the love was there but I guess its not," She said pouting and laying on Trae. "We can order food from the restaurant downstairs or you can order from the market downstairs too. We are a people mover ride away from the Renaissance Center and their food court should be open. Anything else you can go and pick up yourself. But I have nothing in that kitchen for you," I said thinking about what little leftovers I had. It was pretty much only enough for me. "Well, what do you want to do?" Trae asked laughing at how I broke everything down. "I mean if you guys are ok with going to the Renaissance Center then we can go. I just want some food. I don't care from where. Just something to eat," Kash said getting up. "Well to the ren cen we go. Tell Rah Rah Raine to WAKE DAT ASS UP so we can go," Trae said hopping up. "Imma go take a potty break before we go," Kash said getting up and Trae followed her into my guest bathroom. "Don't be doing anything nasty in there," I said as they closed the door.

     I walked into my room to see Raine knocked the fuck out on my bed. I took some pictures of her and saved them in my phone before actually waking her up. "Hey you," I said shaking to wake up. "Whaaaaaaatttt," she groaned while rolling over to face me. "We're about to go get some food. So you gotta get up. Unless you want me to just get you something and bring it back here," I said and she shook her head getting up. "I'll go. Just give me a minute so I can use the bathroom," she said getting up and going into my bathroom. I sat on my bed and heard knocking on my bedroom door. "Y'all almost ready?" the voice asked and it sounded like Kash. I got up and opened the door. Sure enough it was Kash. "Yea Raine just needs to use the bathroom. Other than that we're ready to get the fuck on," I said laughing. "Wow. So are you just not into the whole decorating thing?" she asked looking into my room. "I mean I've never had the extra money to actually decorate and when I did it had to go to something else. Maybe now I'll be able to do something with this place. It gets boring in here looking at these dull ass wall," I said laughing. Raine came out of the bathroom and we all headed out to the People Mover.

A/N: WESSUP NIGGAAAA!  How's breathing going? I'm doing shitty as usual but I haven't been able to write much because I've been at a music camp and them kids be loud as hell. Then I got into an argument with one of my parents and I needed to get out of the house so I haven't really been up to writing buttttt here I am. Sitting here...in an empty bath tub....writing shit out. Anywhoooooo I want some more friends y'all. 😭 and not no Niggas who gon text me once and then we never speak again. Like a summer buddy or something cause all my friends fake as hell 😭. Them hoes said they was gon text me but THEY HAVENT. Shitty asses. So if you add a purple headed, lowkey pressed, ugly, mean ass bitch to your friend list...I'm right fucking here. Thanks 💀🙂. See y'all lataaaaaa!

-Stay Saucy ✨