Sleepy l.s au

VI

I get some shit from Zayn about not telling Harry the complete truth ­- where I could, and I probably will, die - because well he's the only one that actually knows everything about me; scary, I know. I hate that part of the truth, to be completely honest. "Please just tell them all, Lou." Zayn says to me a few weeks later when we're sitting in English, it’s only us. Only Marcel, Ernest, Doris and Zayn know the real truth. I think that it would be a lot easier if I didn’t have this fate.

"I'm pretty sure something will happen if I do," I mumble, when Zayn's face changes; I quickly regret the words that were whispered into the air. "I'm not saying that I want something to… it’s just…. I just hate all of this!"

"We know you don't and that you do. I guess," Zayn gets cut off by his phone going off. Looking at the I. D. he turns and says, "It's your mum."

"Ah, shit forgot to take my medicine!" I sigh. Zayn nods and answers the phone expecting for Jay to tell him that I forgot to take my medicine.

"Hi, mum!" He smiles into the iPhone and it drops as quickly as it was formed. "Okay, I'll get everyone together. Do you want to talk to Lou?" Zayn gives me the phone, and I am met by my crying mother.

"Mum," I say but she quickly cuts me off with a loud sob.

"It's too close." She sobs. Ah shit, I think, why now when everyone understands? "They called this morning, Lou, they told me it's not long. You need to tell everyone now or I will." I let out silent sobs as Zayn rubs my back.

"Okay," I whisper. I wipe my face of the tears that fell from my dying blue eyes.

*few hours later; at lunch*

"Hi Harry, hi Marc." Zayn says to the twins walking to the table taken by me, Niall, Liam, Zayn and Perrie. Harry sits next to me as Marcel moves to sit next to Niall and Liam. I lean my head on the curly boy’s shoulder and sigh. My two siblings have silent tears going from their eyes, their eyes telling me that they’re not ready; but little do they know, I’m not ready either. Liam knows something's up, Niall is catching up with Harry and Marcel and Zayn is rubbing my back, constantly reassuring me that they'll understand.

I lift off my head off of Harry’s shoulder and I wipe my tears before anyone sees them. "Hey guys, I have something to say." I say quietly and I can feel that the six pairs of eyes are on me and two on the table. "Well, you all know about my 'problem' so to speak and I've known this for a while and so has Zayn but please don't get angry or upset and mostly don't leave me. I am dying and I have been for the past couple of months." I whisper the last sentence. Tears are streaming down my face and I hide in Zayn's chest. Ernest and Doris are sobbing right now and I am pretty close.

"Hey," Harry says softly, rubbing my back, "I'm not going to leave, Boobear. I promise." I rotate my head to look at the twin, his eyes are tearing. There are tears falling from his eyes, Harry whispers, "Can I talk to you Lou?" I nod and have him half hold me half walk me to the restroom. As soon as we're in the room, I break down crying. "Louis, Lou, boo, please." I look at the taller boy, tears still streaming down my face.

"Don't leave me Harry," I whisper, my face in my hands. Slowly, but gently Harry pries my hands away. He kisses me softly and I freeze. He realizes this and pulls away. When he looks at me, I shake my head and lean back in, lightly brushing my lips over his own. "Don't let me go, okay?"

"Never in a million years, Louis, never in a million years." He presses his lips slightly to mine again, and I can’t get over how soft his lips are. My eyes fluttering closed and I feel like I am normal.

"Thank you, Haz." I whisper when we break for air. “Let’s go back?” Harry nods, taking my hand. I lace our fingers together and I smile when he brings our laces to his lips and kisses it. “Thank you, Haz.”

We walk back, not before wiping away the tears that started falling again before we were out the door. I love the feeling of Harry holding onto me, protecting me. When we get back to the table, Liam and Niall give me a hug, holding me tightly but not too tight and I had a wave. I realized that Zayn caught Perrie when she started sobbing and the “I’m sorry’s” fill my ears. Ernest and Doris are crying, they’re going to lose me and I don’t want them to feel that pain. Marcel whispers a 'good job' in my ear and I give him a nod. "Guys, can you… like… just be there every step?" A chorus of 'yes's ring through the table and I smile leaning back on Harry with my upper body and Zayn with holding my legs. "Thank you." I whisper as I fall asleep.

When I wake up, I'm at home. God, I feel asleep at school again. I really need to see if mum will let me do online schooling and convince Zayn's, Liam's, Niall's and the twin's mums to let us do it all together. She’s probably not going to let E and D to since they’re in so many activities for school. "Mum?" I call walking with my hand on the wall, bracing myself and I think that I need some support.

"Yes, Lou?" she's sitting at the table drinking tea from her '#1 Mum' mug that the twins got her a few years back.

"Could I do online schooling since I've missed the majority of my lessons at school? And could you possibly see if Zayn's, Liam's, Niall's and the twin's mums will let them do online schooling with me? Could E and D do it to? They don’t have to since they’re in every activity at school, but I think I’d like to be with them." I sit down, after making my own cup of Yorkshire tea. Two sugar cubes and a little bit of honey.

"I can see what they say; I just want you to be happy up until... you know. Yes you can, I'll call the principal to set you up soon. I'll invite everyone over for dinner. I don’t know, Lou. But I will ask them to see what they think and if there is any way they could still do the games and all. How does that sound?" I smile at how understanding my mum is. I grab her hands and kiss them.

"I love you, mummy." I whisper, tears sliding down my face. I lift my hand to wipe my face. "I love that. Chinese?"

"Yeah, we can do that." Mum says, grabbing her phone sending a group message to the mums and the kids, including me, to see if it was okay. I didn't mind because we both know that they'd rather hear – well read – straight from me then my mum.

From Mummy
To: Zaynie, Ni, Li, Marc, Haz, Mummy T, Mummy Payne, Mummy H, Mummy Anne, Dori, Ernie and Loubear

Hey Lou wants to know if we can all have a big dinner tonight and chat a bit and just hang out. Also Lou would like to talk to you about something. How does Chinese sound?

MummyT- We'll be there! Perfect Jay!
MummyAnne-Same as Trisha!! Great!
MummyPayne-Li and I will! Awesome
MummyH- We're in! Okay I'll pay for my portion, Jay!
Zaynie-I'll see ya later! That sounds okay Mummy Jay!
Niall-Yay I get to see Lou!!!! Food!
Haz-Okay, I miss you Lou!
Marc- Harold, stop being a sap! And that sounds perfect Miss Jay!

Dori-Sure! E and I will be home later!
Me (Loubear ;) )-Okay I'll see you all later :*

As promised, everyone was in the living room eating Chinese and a movie drifting in the background. I am leaning on Harry, sitting on Niall with my legs across Liam and Zayn; Perrie couldn’t make it which saddens me and I think that she should be there.. Ernest and Doris are sitting on the floor next to the couch, opposite of the boys and me. I love these boys; they've all supported me and never complained. It's too much to ask and I can't thank whatever brought our group of misfits together enough. I rest my eyes listening about embarrassing stories from our childhoods. I think that this is what I want.