Until My Last Breath

Chapter 53

"I didn't say that. Just let me surprise you with the nee songs. There's still a lot of time till the third album." Shawn replies, quickly glancing over at me. Time I don't have. „Mhm." I nod, averting my eyes out of the window again. „Something wrong?" Shawn questions.

Yes there's a lot of things wrong in my life, Shawn. "No." I say, shaking my head. I could feel his gaze on me every now and then but I ignore him for the rest of the ride. I still don't know how to tell him.

"Hey now that I know you have feelings for me I wanted to tell you that I'll die to 90%' Not a good way in my opinion. „Earth to Rose. What do you want?" Shawn asks, waving his hand front of my face.

"Huh?" I murmur, noticing that we are in the parking lot of some Ice cream shop. „What Ice cream do you want?" Shawn questions, chuckling. „Oh." I laugh lightly. „Hmm... cookie and mango." „Alright I'll be right back." Shawn says as he climbs out of the car.

Sighing, I watch him disappears into the building. How do I say it? There is no right way to say this so I guess I'll just spit it out. Now or later? Maybe now is better but then the mood would be... I don't know sad?

I guess so... but why am I making such a drama out of telling him. It's not like he would miss me for long.

I mean, it's not like he loves me... but what if he stays away from me after he finds out? The past two weeks I kinda... got used to having him around me.

I could actually forget my sorrows for a short time whenever he would just come into my room to watch a movie or drag me out to learn how to play guitar.

Even when he annoyed me like usually I could forget them. I don't want to loose that... „How can you eat that together? It's like the total opposite." Shawn comments as the he comes back, handing me the cup.

"Most of the time two opposite things fit together the best." I say, taking a spoon full ice cream into my mouth. „True." Shawn grins. We eat the ice cream and I just listen to him singing along the song in the radio every now and then.

His voice is beautiful, I can't deny that. „Sing with me." he says, pointing his spoon onto me like a microphone. I shake my head, stuffing the rest of my ice cream into my mouth. „Oh come on. It's just me and I already heard you sing and it was good."

"I just don't want to." I shrug, not being sure about my voice. Maybe I'm not horrible but I also wouldn't say I'm that good. „Don't be shy." Shawn sings, causing me to chuckle. „You won't get me singing, Shawn." I say. He sighs starting the car.

"I will sometime." „Are we driving back?" I ask. „Nope." He smiles, driving out of the parking area. After another 15 minutes we come to a stop on a hill and I have to smile at how cliche that is but the view is incredible.

"Don't like it?" Shawn questions, opening the car door for me. „No no. It's beautiful." I smile, as we lean agains the front of the car. The sun is almost already set, dipping the sky into a purple color combined with the lights of the city.

I hop onto the hood of the car, letting my eyes wander over the beautiful scenery but I just can't get it out of my head. I have to tell him. Sooner or later he would find out anyways. „Rose?"

"Hm?" Shawn smiles slightly as he stands between my legs, even though I'm sitting on the car his head is the same height as mine.

"What?" I ask, chuckling. „You seem to be in thoughts the whole evening. What's wrong? Is it about what you wanted to tell me?" he asks, tugging a strand of hair behind my ear. I always start to feel tingly in my stomach when he does that...

"Uh..." „Hey, you can tell me." Shawn says softly and it takes everything in me not to cry. It just feels like everything around me is crashing down. „I-„ I say but get cut off by his phone ringing.

"Oh sorry. I have to answer that. I'll be right back." Shawn says, walking to the back of the car. Well... I look back watching as he nervously runs a hand through his hair while speaking. Why does he seem so irritated? I still don't get his mood swings sometimes.

Two minutes later Shawn comes back, shoving his phone into his pocket. „Sorry, so what were you about to say?" he asks, standing this time next to me his gaze on the city. „Nothing important." I say, shaking my head. „Okey." he replies, blankly.

"Everything okey?" I ask, stepping onto the ground. „Yes everything is fine." he responds, rather annoyed. „I just asked." I say, rolling my eyes as I walk to the passengers seat.

"Wait Rose. It's just that Andrew is stressing me. I shouldn't let that out on you. I'm sorry." Shawn says, grabbing my hands to stop me from walking. „What is he stressig you about?" „Just some tour stuff, don't worry." Shawn says, grabbing my waist.

"What do you think you are doing, Mendes?" I question, raising my eyebrow. A smile creeps onto Shawn's lips as he leans down next to my ear. „Making you fall for me." he whispers, causing shivers to run down my spine. Before I could answer he lifts me up placing me back on the car hood.

"Now tell me. I want you to be okey, Rose." Shawn says, stoking down my arm. His beautiful brown eyes stare into mine hoping for an sincere answer but I just can't. My mouth won't form the words he needs to hear.

His eyebrows furrow since I still haven't said anything. „Rose-." „Just kiss me." I cut him off, cupping his cheeks. „What? Really?" he questions surprised.

"Yes really." I answer, pulling him closer by his neck. „But first you tell me what's wrong." He whispers, his breath hitting my lips. His nose touching mine.

„Shawn please." I sigh, moving a bit forward while caressing his jaw trying to get him to think about something else. „Rose no. Tell me." I bite my lip and I can see him watching me. I smile, grazing my thumb along his lower lip.

„Kiss me." I whisper once again and I can see that it's hard for him not to, so I move my head. My lips colliding with his soft ones, he doesn't stop me he kisses back. I shouldn't keep this from him but I don't know how to say it...