Desolation Boy 2

I have lost all reality

Confusion and pain

Runs through my veins

The only thing I know now is basic functions

Eat

Do chores

Sleep

Study

"I'm okay"

No matter what I touch

I can't feel the world anymore

Maybe it's because the world really isn't real

Emotions I've mastered so far

Is anger

And numbness

Sometimes I'm way too happy

Other times I'm way to sad

I only know black and white

I just want to know grey

But I don't know how to reach it

I'm out of control

I ran my fingers over my scars today

White lines

Pink lumps

Past that I can hardly remember

God I hardly know anything

My mind is sticky cotton

My heart is no longer there

I am a puppet

Tied up by my demons

My meds

My inner survivalist

There is so much

Yet nothing

Screaming in my brain

These thoughts are so loud

Like a train horn blaring directly into your ear

And nothing I do can quiet it

I don't know how to live anymore

I am not alive

I don't know where I am

I have no idea how to keep going on my own

I need you

I need you

I'm sorry

I'm sorry