Fourteen - Broken

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Song : Lord I Need You by Matt Maher

Chapter dedicated to Kataangboomerang0426

"Lord."

Yes. I'm back to calling him Lord.

"I drifted."

I heaved a sigh.

"I know I'm not fit to call you Father or dad anymore. I'm not worthy of it 'cause what child goes without talking to her father for days and even weeks? What kind of child ignores her own father whom she claims she loves so much? Even after he tried getting her attention?"

I went from where I sat and knelt by the edge of the bed.

"I drifted, Lord. I strayed away from you. I got carried away even though I didn't want to. I got weaker and less consistent. I didn't write you no more. I listened to the voices in my head telling me to be logical. I didn't tell anyone about it. Not even you. I gave excuses. My faith weakened."

"God, if you can hear me, please help. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of ignoring you and giving excuses because I miss you already. Please."

"Forgive me."

I stayed still for few minutes. Tears rolling down my cheeks. I was weak, weaker than I've ever been and I didn't want to use being human as an excuse. It was because I had no consistency.

You know the feeling you get when you really want to change something but you have no idea how even though you've tried various ways to change it? That was how I felt. Frustrated, weak and broken.

I was broken. My heart was broken.



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