Nothing Like A Good Girl

Roll With The Flow

The time I spent with Rashad were the best hours of my life. It's crazy how we connected on so many levels, and I found that we have so much in common. We talked about life, the future, our past, our fears, and not once did I feel the slightest bit of judgment. If anything he made me feel more relaxed and safer than I've ever felt before. He made me feel safe to let my walls down and actually allow him to truly get to know who I am. He allowed me to vent and not once did he interrupt me. The way he cared about my feelings and created a safe space for me to feel every emotion is something that I really appreciated about him.

He more so doesn't try to correct but instead wants to understand. He's attentive. Observant. He made me feel as though he's known me all my life. As if I am the most important person to him. At the times were I felt like I was talking his head off he assured me that he wanted to listen. Its crazy how much I despised him in the beginning but am now realizing that I was wrong. He is everything that I've been looking for.

In our conversation I neglected the fact to tell Rashad about my parents. I felt like if I did he'd run for the hills and never look back. I mean what kind of man of his status would feel safe messing around with a girl who parents basically took an oath to lock criminals like Rashad away. However as weird as this sounds, Rashad is not a criminal in my eyes. He's not a lost soul. He is not a monster. If anything he knows exactly who he is. Yet, I don't think my parents would see it that way and that's what scares me.

But it's my life and whomever I wish to love is my business. Love? Did I just say love? Could I really love a man like Rashad? Maybe in another life but surely not this one. Yet I feel like our souls were meant to meet. As if the universe guided my path to Rashad and ordained our love. Even though this feels so right I just wish it could've happened sooner.

Stephen is a good man, but he could never hold a candle to Rashad. Rashad makes me feel special, nervous, wanted, seen and heard all at the same time. He makes me feel sexy and when he touches me I feel like a woman. His woman. Yes, Stephen has made me feel this way before but not like this. These feelings are more intense and nearly on the verge of exploding. I can't deny that Rashad is Stephen's better, and that's what saddens me.

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After rinsing off the few dishes that Rashad left for me in the sink I dried my hands and joined him in the living room. ESPN played on his flat screen but he payed it no mind. Instead he was to busy on his phone.

"What do you want to do today shawty?" He asked as soon as I sat beside him.

I am even surprised that he looked up to notice me. It seemed as though he was doing something really important on his phone the way he was eyeing it. However to my surprise he placed his phone on the table with its face up.

My eyes instantly adverted to his screen. If he was to receive a notification I wanted to see it. Call me noisy but I couldn't help it. Most guys would put their phones face down and yet he didn't. Although I'm pretty sure he knew that I was staring at his phone. I am almost certain that he did it on purpose. If he did I would have to say it was a nice move.

"It doesn't matter to me. What do you want to do?" I asked once I noticed that his phone was the least of my concerns now.

"Some close friends of mine are throwing a little get together later. If you're up to roll with me for a day, I would love for you to accompany me."

"What kind of get together is it? Like a kickback?"

Rashad chuckled. "Absolutely not. I'll leave that to you children. It's just a small get together. There's going to be food, drinks, and a little sum-sum for the grown ups."