In Love - Double B

4

Jiwon had no idea why Hanbin had decided to stay with him for so long—maybe he was just bored and didn't really have anything else to do, or maybe he was just avoiding doing work?—but he had, and now they were both sprawled over each other in the back of another taxi. Jiwon had been seeing a lot of those lately.

"Who knew shooting music videos take so long...?" Hanbin mumbled, his voice a little slurred from sleep and Jiwon cracked an eye open to give him an incredulous look.

"Dude, we've shot tons of music videos before..."

"I know but still. It's dumb."

"You're dumb."

"True."

Hanbin moved his head to rest in the crook of Jiwon's neck, his hair tickling Jiwon's face and a wave of affection suddenly washed over the latter so fast that he didn't know how to deal with it. His heartbeat sped up and he hoped to everything that Hanbin couldn't hear it and that he'd never be able to, because that would just raise a whole lot of questions that Jiwon wasn't ready to answer.

"It's funny to think about," Hanbin muttered just after Jiwon rested his head on top of Hanbin's.

"...what is?"

"How life's supposed to change. People are supposed to grow and learn and develop, and do all those things like fall in love and get different jobs and stuff...but I just feel like I've been stuck in one place for years. I'm still an idiot a lot of the time and I can't grow out of that and I literally feel the same as I did when I...what, since I was sixteen or something."

"Where on earth did this come from?" Jiwon asked in surprise and Hanbin shrugged, quiet as he said, "Just seeing you today, I guess. All of you, growing, making names for yourself. And that all makes me happy because as a leader it's my job to lead you guys to better paths and higher skies. I'm just supposed to stay grounded on the same road and I'm...yeah, I'm good with that."

"Why does deep Hanbin have to come out at night?" Jiwon sighed heavily, smiling a little when he heard Hanbin snort. "You know you're kind of talking nonsense, right?"

"Oi, that's mean..."

"You've probably grown more than any of us have in the past few years and you've become so amazing from a point where you were already amazing and I know you know that so I don't know why you're saying all this. You're...cool."

"Oh, how flattering."

"I'm not good at compliments, you know that! And wasn't my compliment before that quite nice? Look, I'm just saying that you don't need to think about all that. You're moving and growing with us, don't think you're not."

Everything was silent for a moment after that before Hanbin tilted his head a little to look up at Jiwon and the latter looked down. All he could think about was how their noses were brushing together and if he moved forward just a hair's breadth, those soft-looking lips would be on his, him and Hanbin could be kissing. Oh my God, why do I keep thinking about this?

"It's crazy, I think I've really missed you too," Hanbin said, his eyes sparkling with some kind of emotion and Jiwon could really see how beautiful they were. They never failed to take his breath away. "Sit next to me more in interviews...or...come visit me! Our houses are just above each other."

"You're never at your house."

"Oh," Hanbin muttered. "Forgot about that."

"Why do we live in separate houses? I actually kinda secretly liked rooming with you guys and now it's just plain lonely. Just me, my room and my hundred pairs of shoes."

"No-one asked you to get that many shoes-"

"And no-one asked for your opinion, ohhhhh-"

"Shut up, you lameoid," Hanbin murmured, jabbing Jiwon in the stomach but his force was kind of weak from what must have been sleep since his eyes closed a moment later. "I think I'm gonna crash now..."

"Into what?"

"Straight into your heart, kaching," Hanbin murmured with feeble finger guns, moving his face more into Jiwon's neck as the elder collapsed back against the seat in silent laughter. "Okay, night."

"Sweet d-dreams," Jiwon replied as he was calming down from his high spirits, feeling a little bit at peace as he felt Hanbin's breath fan slowly across his neck, and the younger's nose pressed against his skin softly.

And maybe Jiwon wasn't quite thinking cleverly when he muttered, "Hanbin?"

Hanbin didn't reply, all lost in dream world at that point, and Jiwon's heart constricted as he threw all caution to the wind. He whispered softly, sadness wrapping around his words and he didn't bother fending it off, "I think...I might be in love with you. And I don't know what to do."

Of course, once again, he got no reply. And Jiwon was okay with that as he looped his arms around Hanbin to tug him closer and he dared to kiss Hanbin's cheek, just once, just softly, and he'd never do it again. Hanbin's skin was so smooth. Jiwon's heart wasn't beating fast anymore. He wanted to cry but instead he just rested his head against Hanbin's and closed his eyes.

He was confused about everything but at least he knew where his heart lied, even if it was bound to break soon.