Back from the Dead

Chapter 13- Floating Feathers, Sinking Feelings

I stumbled back and rubbed my face with my hands. I sat back down on my bed with my face still covered.

"I'm so sorry. I'm over tired. You'll have to excuse me." I mumbled into my hands.

"Ya... Right. No problem." Mark said hesitantly.

He seemed confused at my sudden mood change. I was too. My emotions were everywhere recently and I finally knew why. My walls- the same walls I had worked so hard to build up over 11 months- are gone.

Poof.

Gone.

And it only took two weeks.

All the nightmares and fears I kept locked up inside of me were pouring out through the rubble that once made up my walls. It all makes sense now. The laughter, the anger, and just all the emotions in general.

And the hallucinations.

Why didn't I see it before? It so blatantly obvious. I should have stopped it. Just like I should have stopped...

No. I shook my head to clear it. All these memories and emotions didn't belong with me. They needed to leave. They were dangerous.

And just like that, I built my walls back up. Higher and stronger than before. This time, I built two. One that made up my hard exterior and one on the inside that kept all my nightmares and memories- which are pretty much the same thing- locked up.

I was brought out of my construction project by Charlie's voice. "We just came to check on you guys. We heard screaming..."

I slowly pulled my face from my hands and met Carina's worried gaze with a stoic look of my own.

"Ya, we're fine." Carina answered while breaking her gaze with mine.

"Really? Looks like you were killing ducks in here." Mark smirked while looking at the pillow feathers which were strewn across the room.

All the boys looked at Carina and me expecting an explanation for the mess in our hotel room. I averted my gaze from the boys to look at Carina therefore passing her the responsibility of coming up with the excuse.

Carina blinked rapidly as she struggled to come up with a plausible excuse. "Well... Intense... Duck... Feathers... Room... Blew up...? And the pillows... Just... Boom!"

The whole room was silent as everyone tried to absorb Carina's statement.

"We had a pillow fight and Carina's a violent person at two in the morning." The lie rolled off my tongue easily. After months of practice, I was a professional liar.

A professional con person.

100% fake.

That's me.

Dannie Billy. The one who never existed.

The one who still doesn't.

"Good. That's good. Great. Well... good. That's it. Night." Charlie stuttered as he stumbled out of the room.

Blake and Mark followed suit but not before Blake turned around to look at me.

"You okay?" He asked me with concern written all over his face.

"Yes." I am now. I finished my thought in my head. And it was true. I was much better now that my walls were back up.

He gave me a wistful smile. "Good night Dannie."

"Night."

My bidding reached him just as the door was closing behind him.

"Well goodnight to you too, Blake." Carina said to the closed door with sarcasm in her voice.