Fool Me Once... (Part 2)

Part 23

Stevie's POV

It's been a week. I wake up every morning, scared to open my eyes. Each time I'm relieved to be in the familiar surroundings of my bedroom. I turn my head to the left and Lindsey's beside me. He's always been an early riser, but now he stays in bed with me until I'm up. 

Things are slowly starting to go back to normal. The house phone didn't stop ringing, one friend after another calling to check on me and make sure I'm okay. Some showed up at our doorstep. It's all been a bit overwhelming. Lindsey doesn't leave me alone for more than what seems minutes, but I tell him not to do that, because it's not a very nice reminder of the time I spent with Ryan. Lindsey's taking care of me, he doesn't let me do much. I tell him I'm fine, but he does everything anyway. It's not like I was hurt physically. He's coddling me and it's a bit annoying, but I would never tell that to his face. I know he does it because he loves me.

Ethan is constantly at my side as well. It felt wonderful to have my baby boy in my arms again. The second he saw me, his beautiful blue eyes brimmed with tears and he repeated to me over and over again how he loves me, he missed me and he doesn't want me to leave again.

I was supposed to be on the road with Don already, but I told him I wasn't going to go and he completely understands. He told me not to worry, to take care of myself and maybe we could do this in the future. I am a little upset, I wanted to do this tour, but I couldn't possibly. I've been away from my family for too long to leave them again so soon. I'm even beginning to question if it's worth it at all.

Mia is now fifteen weeks pregnant. I'm worried about her. Lindsey told me she wasn't doing well while I was gone and she should be gaining weight and she's lost some. I tried talking to her, I promised that I'm not going anywhere, that I'm here to stay and she should stop blaming herself for everything, but she doesn't listen. I'm afraid something's going to happen...

I haven't really talked to Lindsey about what happened. He wants to know, I can feel it, but he doesn't ask. So, when it's late at night and he's ready to go to bed, I offer him a glass of wine and take his hand, leading him out to the balcony. We sit down and we're quiet for some time. 

"I wasn't intimate with him." I speak up at last. "Well, that's partly true." I look ahead, but I fell Lindsey's eyes on me. "I asked him if I could go outside."

"You had to ask?" 

"Yes." I nod my head. "He said, I should join him in the pool. I didn't want to, but he let me understand that was what I was going to do." Lindsey's grip on my hand tightens for a second. "I wanted to change in the bathroom, but he didn't let me. He watched." My mouth goes dry at the memory and I take a sip. I'm not enjoying this, but I feel like we have to go through this to be able to move on. "His arms were around me, he kissed me, he told me to lie down."

"Steph..." Lindsey shakes his head, casting his eyes down.

"His hands were everywhere. He got on top of me and he touched me. I was afraid to push him away. I knew that if I didn't let him go on, I'd be chained to the bed again and I would have had a chance to be alone with Stacey."

"You don't have to-"

"He told me to stop fighting it, to enjoy it. He forced me to open my mouth, he wanted to hear me." I close my eyes, chewing on my bottom lip. "I was crying, he thought I liked it so much that I was crying."

"Enough." Lindsey doesn't yell, his voice is quiet. 

"Nothing else happened. Someone was at the door and things didn't go further." I face Lindsey, but he's not looking back at me. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. He's just an animal." Lindsey clears his throat and finishes off his glass at once. "I want you to know that it doesn't change things between us, I don't love you any less."

"I had to tell you, Linds. I had to." 

Lindsey gets up and stands in front of me, taking my hands he pulls me up to my feet as well. His arms wrap around me and he just holds me for a while. This can't be easy for him, especially with how jealous he is. He had no power over this and I'm sure he's handling it even worse than he normally would. But he's a man, he's my husband, he's supposed to protect me, his family. I smile to myself a little and let him be the strong one.