Sins Of The Father (TRLS)

Chapter 13 Part 1

    I picked up my bottle of perfume from the shelf above the sink and sprayed myself with in. It suddenly slipped out my hands falling to the floor and shattering. I gasped and jumped away from the broken glass. "Roslyn are you alright?" I heard Tom call out from behind the door to which I muttered a curse. "Yeah I just feel a little ill," I managed to say while pulling my wand from my mess of clothing on the floor. Sometimes I astound myself with my clumsiness. "Do you need something?" He asked causing me to roll my eyes at his false compassion. "No, I'm fine," I said trying to get him to leave me alone. "Alright, come to bed. I'm sure you will feel better once you're off your feet," he said. How is he being so casual about this like it's nothing? I know he's not expecting anything tonight, right? No of course not, though he does seem eager to get me into bed and we are married. Does he think that's what consummates a marriage? That's what men of this era believed, but he must think it's taboo to do it while the woman is pregnant. I'm pretty sure men think that. Still I can't picture Tom Riddle trying to do the hippidydippidy with me especially while I'm 6 months pregnant, the thought alone makes me want to dry heave. In this situation we are not a traditional married couple. This was a marriage of convenience and nothing more, and we do not have to follow the traditional customs of wedded couples. At least I hope that's what he believes as well. I magically repaired my perfume bottle and placed it back on the shelf. "I can do this," I muttered to myself as my hand hovered over the door knob. This is normal, we are married now, there's is nothing to be scared of. I guess I just never pictured my honeymoon with me being 6 months pregnant. After picking up my wedding dress and placing it on the wash basin I took a deep breath before opening the door to our bedroom. I saw Tom sitting in bed with his legs stretched out reading a book. I noticed as he briefly lifted his eyes from his book to me and let them waver on me for a second before lowering them back to his book. I stood in the doorway for a second before slowly making my way over to my record player to stop the music from playing. I tried to take my time in putting the record away as I wanted to put off getting into bed with him for as long as possible.

      Maybe if I start a conversation this will be less scary."Hey Tom, what do you think about Jameson? I really like that name," I said as I turned towards the bed hoping to avoid any awkwardness. "It sounds suitable," he said not looking up from his book. I slowly walked over to the bed untying my shall so I could take it off. "I was thinking- if you wanted to, we could name our son after your ancestor and use Salazar as his middle name," I said catching his attention as I took off my shall and sat on the bed beside him. He tilted his head to the right as if contemplating it. "I think that would make a very fine name for him," he said. "I also liked Edward for the baby or Emmerson," I spoke trying to get him engulfed in a serious conversation now that I have his attention. "You have some very fine names," he said not giving it too much thought. "But I want you to have a say in this, after all they're your babies too," I said sincerely to which he closed his book and turned towards me. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk about it, though we will make a serious effort to avoid filthy muggle names," he said sneering at mention of muggles. "Of course," I said watching as he got a little more comfortable on the bed. "However I don't think deciding on the names right now would be very logical. We could narrow it down to a few, but I think once we see them the names will come to us because of their personalities and what they look like." I looked at Tom in awe. "Wow Tom don't take this the wrong way but I think that is the most thoughtful thing I've ever heard you say," I told him truthfully while wearing a smile. "I don't fully understand how, but I do think that it is time for us to get some sleep because when you're tired in the morning you're grumpy, and when you're grumpy so am I," Tom said plainly while putting his book on the nightstand and spelling off the light. Aw yes the domino effect of the husband and wife, it's official we're married. I lifted my legs onto the bed and placed the covers on top of me before making a bold move solftly kissing Tom's cheek before laying down. "Goodnight Tom," I said only to have him reply a minute later. "Goodnight Roslyn." I grinned a little when he said that because he has probably only called me by my real name only a handful of times. I guess marriage really does change things. Of course he didn't make any move to initiate anything, I knew this was just a facade of a marriage. It's not like I expected it or wanted it but why do I have this nawing feeling inside of me? Does he not think I'm pretty enough? Why do I have to chalk it all down to insecurities? I'm happy he didn't expect sex, extremely happy, but why do I feel so bad?

      As he is now my husband along with the father of my offspring maybe I should start to get a little closer to him. I guess staying in the same place with him will help. I just can't help the fact that every time I look at him I see the malicious snake face of his future self. I don't know if Tom means me any harm, but the slack he's giving me with all that I throw at him makes me think maybe he doesn't. He seems tame except for when I royally piss him off, but who's to say that once I give birth that he'll treat me the same and not crucio me every other weekend? I can't believe I'm married, it's truly unbelievable. Even though my husband is kinda physco I honestly feel like I'm floating on air. I'm a married woman and I'm expecting twins in three month's time. Even if their father is an unemotional, arrogant prat I have enough love for my twins to make up for Tom's lack there of. Maybe in my heart I yearn for some sort of normality for my new family, but I also know that nothing about this situation makes it possible. If I live out my years caring for my twins in solitude then so be it, the most important things in my life are them. Still the initial purpose of their existence is troubling, and I know I must save them, somehow I must.

I laid awake in the dark beside him trying to stick to my side of the bed. How did it all come down to this? One second I was modeling for magazine covers and singing in clubs and then in the next I am sleeping in a bed beside my husband 6 months pregnant. My heart began to race as it all became so real all of a sudden. How could I almost forget that I am sleeping with the enemy? That beside me is Lord Voldemort himself. I shivered as I thought of waking up to the pale white snake face of Voldemort. How can I be married to him, we don't even love each other. I mean we hardly know much about each other. He probably thinks my personality revolves around chocolate muffins and crying. I sat up in bed as I suddenly began to panic. How did I allow my myself to get here? I was forced to be impregnated with his children and now I was forced to marry him. How am I not screaming and crying or at least furious? It can't be because I am okay with it! I could not have wanted us to get married. Why am I almost seeing it as normal? Was it truly the right thing to do for us? We're only 17 for Merlin's sakes! This is too much pressure, how is it just registering now? I don't know how to be a wife or a mother! Maybe I'm just becoming so dependent on him that everything is starting to become normal to me, but I know the truth; I've just allowed myself to marry Lord Voldemort.