The Doctor

28

The plane touched down into Australian autumn, temperamental and unexpectedly changing. Stella groaned as she stood up from her seat, it was too long to be on a plane, she hated flying. Anna stood up quietly, she was nervous, she hadn't been back home since she left after her big bender, maybe she should have stayed in America and gone on antidepressants instead of trying to find the root of the problem. 

"I'm sure it will be fine," Stella whispered, noticing Anna's mood as they pulled down bags from the lockers. 

Anna nodded, she was kind of glad she wasn't near Stella through the flight but two seats ahead of her. She didn't sleep much and she didn't want Stella to worry more than she always was.

"Bye, girls," the flight attendant said as they walked down the passage of the plane. "Have a safe stay."

Anna smiled at her, Stella frowned, this woman was awfully friendly to Anna throughout the trip.

"Bye, Kylie," Anna farewelled, stepping down the first step.

They crossed the tarmac, Anna feeling like her stomach was knotted, the air was different to America, it made her want to cry but she didn't know what signal that would send security. 

"Are your parents picking us up still?" Stella asked, trying to distract Anna from her thoughts. 

"Yeah."

They walked through the sliding doors and stood around waiting for their bags. They were both so tired, it was the middle of the day, the sun shining outside, but right now in America it was 10 pm, they'd both be asleep. They passed through security, Anna being pulled aside because of her dazed look held them up for a bit, but then they were free to go.

"Are you sure they're picking us up?" Stella asked, glancing around the airport, unable to see Phillipa and Alex anywhere.

"Well, I think I told them the right time." Anna stood on the tops of her shoes, she just wanted to lie down and cry, she wanted to go home, but America wasn't home because when she was there she wanted to go home.

"Stella!"

They both wheeled around, Phillipa was waltzing towards them, arms outstretched and taking both of the girls into a rib breaking hug, planting a kiss on each of their heads.

"Hi, Mum," Anna said wearily.

"Oh, my darlings!" she cried, grabbing Anna's bags and leading them out of the airport. "You have no idea how excited I've been."

"Where's Dad?" Anna asked.

"He's so sick, we reckon it's the flu."

"Oh," Stella said in shock, "that's really not good this season."

Anna glanced at her behind her mother's back and smiled, the doctor in her always came out, it was cute.

"He'll pull through," Phillipa said. "How was the flight?" 

"Long," Stella said, wrapping her coat around her as they stepped out into the cool air. She looked around at the landscape, so far it was just buildings, but it was exciting to be in another country. "Not too bad, though."

Phillipa smiled. "Over here, girls. Anyway, all my friends are dying to meet you, couldn't get over that you're British and a doctor! God, two doctors, imagine the cash they'd be rolling in, that's what one bird said." Stella nodded politely, trying to catch Anna's eye, but she was staring straight ahead dully. "Well, here we are," Phillipa took Stella's bag and hoisted it into the back of the car, they walked around to the sides and got in, Anna in the front seat. "You've been quite, Anna. What's the matter?"

"Tired," she muttered. 

They drove home, conversation flowing genuinely and equally between Stella and Phillipa. Anna rested her head against the window, watching the familiar landscape fall past and feeling lonelier and sicker the more they went on. She wanted to crawl over into the backseat and sit in Stella's lap, she couldn't get close enough to her. When they pulled into the driveway, Anna walked in slowly to see her father, not bothering with her bags.

"Hey, Dad," Anna greeted him.

"Anna!" He got up from the couch and kissed Anna's cheek. "Got a touch of the flu, but I thought my doctors will be here soon, they'll fix me up."

Anna smiled. "Yeah."

"Where's Stella, then?"

"She's getting the bags, I guess."

"You alright? You look pale."

"Tired." Being back in her childhood house that smelt like Josh was taking her down all sorts of paths in her memory, she couldn't control the roads she took in her brain, but somehow they always led to her holding Josh in her hands. "I'm gonna..." she pointed upstairs, Alex nodded as she headed up the stairs.

She brushed her hands against the walls, looking in rooms that were pretty much the same. She came to rest at Josh's, converted to a spare bedroom after he moved out, but it never lost the smell and feel of him. There was probably still money or drugs under the carpet. She moved on, she couldn't take it anymore. She opened the door of her own room, it was like it was when she was a teenager, simple, boring, unorganised. She lay down on the bed, facing out the window looking out at the city and trees that moved in the wind, they hypnotised her to close her eyes. She felt a hand wrap around her waist.

"Hey," Stella whispered in her ear.

"Hey," she whispered back.

"I love you."

"Me, too."

"Are you ok?"

"No." Tears fell down Anna's cheeks and she closed her eyes again painfully.