Anti Broken Heart - Broken Heart Club

vii

Baby stop tightening up so much on me or I can never stop...
Ah, why are you crying so much... somewhere hu-

Do I look like a fool...?
Do I look like a fool, Forth, do I look like a fool, now? Do you hate me...?

Just why should I hate you?

I hurt you... so much I looked like the one who didn't want us to get back to our old friendship... I hurt you so much...

I don't hate you, baby...

I really wish I didn't say things like that, I really... but I really... I really can't be in love with a guy... Kit... Kit... I... you know how confused I was... and now, you... i really don't know myself, Forth,
Really, really lost now... I don't know where I am standing now, I don't know how to call the feeling I feel right now. This is not a simple anger or happiness... this is...
Forth...
Please, save me...

Hmm... It's ok now, everything's fine... you're fine...

Forth...
If what I have for Kit is love, I don't know what it is now I am having for you...
If what I have for Kit is not love, I still don't know what I am feeling for you...
It is so... it is so much stronger, incomparable... much more hateful, much more confusing...

What is so confusing about it...?

I've never loved a man...
Damn, I don't even fall in love with girls, I just... they just throw themselves to me and I catch them... I've never...
Forth, I don't know how is it to be in love, but I am sure it will never be this painful... but this is... this makes me hurt you, this makes me feel lonely... this is... this... this makes me-

What's so hateful about it...?

This makes me lose you...

You're not losing anyone, Beam.
Not me, not you

Really, Forth...?
Really?
But why did I feel angry when you told Pha and Kit we were having sex? Why did I hate the idea of you escorting me? Why did I hate you now...? Despite of the reason, I am losing you, Forth

No....

I don't want it, Forth, i really don't want it this way...
I hope you can forget about everything we had and just act like you always did to me
I want us to get back to the old days
I want you to endure anything, even losing me or scolded by me. Endure everything including your own guilty feeling and stop all of this because I can't hate you more than this
Everything
I want you to stop feeling guilty and all. Even if I walk limply, even when I got some fever, or not going home because I am wasted on the road
I want you to endure everything by yourself and not touching me so gently, looking at me with so much understanding, holding me like I am very fragile, stop it, just stop it
Endure it yourself and get back to me like the old Forth who doesn't want to have sex with me because I am not swinging both ways
I want you to keep everything to yourself, even if you know I remember little bit things we did the night before
I don't want it this way...

Why don't you want it...?

Just....
Please get back to me like the old days
I've been holding onto you too much, if I lose you now,
Forth, really,
I wanna feel like the old days
I wanna feel like we are just two fools, dumb and dumber who goof around about things in life
I miss it...
Us

We still can do that even if-

No, Forth, we cannot
You're just heart broken, you are just heart broken and I am too
This is...
I was drunk, I was looking for a comfort, and you were the only one who can give me that
We are nothing, Forth, we are nothing since the beginning
We better not start anything before it is too late
Let me go