LITTLE MIX~ one shots!!!

Guilt

Triggering

Perrie
"Jesy?!" I shouted whilst continuously knocking on her door. "Jess!!" I screamed. I began to feel tears streaming down my face. "Pez?" I heard Jade say, I looked away from the door to look at Jade. She saw me crying and came to me. "What's wrong petal?" She asked moving some hair from my face. "Jesy." I cried. "We need a key, she has done something..." I added. "What's she done Babe?" She asked with a slight tone of worry. "I-i I can't." I cried and started fumbling around with my phone. I got up the message from her and turned my phone around so she could see it.
Tonight you'll see me with a rope around my neck.

She looked at it wide eyed. "You go and get Leigh and Paul, I'll get the master key." She whispered and kissed my cheek. I nodded and walked to Leigh-Anne's door. I knocked twice and she answered. "Oh baby girl, what's wrong?" She asked and instantly engulfed me in a hug. I accepted but pulled away and showed her the message, tears formed in her eyes. "J-Jade is getting a master key for her r-room." I cried. She nodded and took me to Paul's door. He opened after two knocks again. He did the same as Leigh and hugged me straight away he hugged Leigh-Anne as well since her eyes started leaking too. Jade came back with the security officer and Claud.

We opened the door.

There she was.

Hanging.

I burst into tears, Jade did the same and Leigh fell to the floor, I followed and Jade did too. We were all crying into each other on the floor. Paul was staring at Jesy's lifeless body while Claud was wiping his own tears, he slowly moved to us and I cried into his shoulder. The security officer was already on the phone to the hospital.

2 months later.
It's been tough, very, very tough. We leaked the news about Jesy's death two weeks ago, we couldn't do it straight away because we needed to time to grieve and so did her family. Obviously we're never going to stop grieving she was our best friend for 7 years, it's weird without waking up with a good morning text. Or not being able to walk into the same room as her an be greeted by her beautiful hugs. I miss her more everyday. I think the girls know if taken it the worst. We've all grieved in our own ways but with me I've been crying myself to sleep every night letting the day before she died replay over and over my head.

Flash back
I looked over at my clock, 6:53. Alex can ring me in 7 minutes. I decided to go through Instagram. Just then there was a knock at my door. "Come in." I shouted. It opened and revealed Jesy with a tear stained face. "Oh babe, what's up?" I asked opening my arms, she came into them and started crying into my chest. "Everyone wants me dead, I might just do it." She cried. I didn't take it as seriously as I should have... "you should, see what reaction the haters get." I laughed. "Pez, I'm serious." She shouted and ran out. I should have been more sympathetic but my phone started ringing. I picked up and started talking with Alex for the next 4 hours, that is why I missed Jesy's text.

Right now, we were in a mini bus on our way to the O2, we decided to do a concert in memory of Jes. It will be like a funeral for the mixers. Leigh was sat with her legs up on my knees and her head on Claud's shoulder. I was sat with my head on Jade's shoulder and she had her chin on my head. Today was going to be tough. Not only was I about to do a memorial concert for best friend but I'm also on my period which makes my emotions go hay wire. We had decided to go on stage just dressed normally, with no makeup, that's how Jess preferred us, not all dolled up just to impress people.

Skip to the concert.
Jade
We had all managed to get through this whole concert thing with hardly any tears. Obviously I knew things were going to get hard now, now it's time for the speech from Pez. She took this whole thing the hardest, there is something she isn't tell us and we all know it. We were sat on a sofa thing and my legs were spread across Perrie's legs. I moved though and cuddled up to her, she obviously needed it.
"Hi everyone." She started and sighed out, her voice was dull not her usual excited one she has. "I'm here talk about Jesy." She whispered. I rubbed her knees gently, giving her some reassurance. She smiled weakly at me. "Jesy loved you, she still does, she loves all of us. Except the haters. The haters are what made her do this, I know because she told me." She whispered, closed her eyes for a second, steadying herself for what she was about to say. "The night Jesy hung herself, she came to my room, crying. She told me that everyone wants her dead and that she might as well do it. You know what I said? I said she should, to see what reaction the haters get. I didn't know she meant it, I didn't know she was going to kill herself, but she did. I've lived with this guilt for the last 2 months. Day after day, I replay that conversation in my head." I wiped a few tears from her face. "It's my fault." She broke down, the microphone slid out her hands and she started sobbing. "Oh no Pez." I sighed and took her in my arms, we were still on stage. "It's not your fault baby." I whispered in her ear. "It is. I should have helped her." She said and rested her head on my shoulder. "You could have, but you know she still loves you. You didn't hate on her for years, you brought her up Perrie. You're the one out of all of us that brought the beauty out in Jesy. She loves you and she always will, she doesn't want you to blame yourself! No one does." I said to her she nodded sadly. "We love you!" We heard a shout in the audience! Just then the crowd erupted in 'I love yous'. I bloody love these fans.

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Sorry it's another sad one but it's been in my drafts a while, I needed to finish it and publish it! I hope you liked it still! X