The 100 ultimate questions

#8 what are you scared of right now ?

At the moment while i'm writing this i'm kinda worried not scared, worried about something actually losing someone.

My best friend.

Well I'm maybe a little crazy or maybe not but I feel like she doesn't care about our friendship as much as i do. That's might not be true.

I love her a lot I've known her for almost 3 Years now and she's awesome but sometime I just feel like she doesn't know what to say , you might be spending hours telling her your problems and stuff and when you're done she will just say " yeah " and that's it ! nothing more... I know she cares but she doesn't know what to say or do . if you don't know her really well you might think that she don't care about what you have to say but it's not the case at all.

And you're the only one calling and you're always the one texting first . She has pretty good reasons for that I understand and it's not her fault blah blah blah I know... But even when you call her she's answering by "what ?" if you don't know her you'll say something like "ok if you don't want to talk to me then bye" but actually that's how she talks now so... Once again it's not the case.

Third I love her having new friends and hanging out with other people I'm not jealous at all really. lately she told me that she thought I was , I said no. it's not true anyway.

And I'm always the one asking her if she wants to come over and she answers by "if you want" I mean really ? She never ever called me to ask me if she could come over to my house or if I can stay to her house I'm always the one asking and of course she answers by "if you want".

Even her mom will tells me to stay and that she loves having me at her house and treat you like her own daughter ! I love this woman .

But when I'm there we're having a lot of fun we're laughing jumping and acting crazy you feel really good hanging out with your Bestie but I feel like she doesn't know how to make you feel "wanted" .

What I'm actually worried about is losing her we're moving in different countries next year for college and what our friendship is going to be like if she continue acting that way ? I mean I really don't want to lose her she's my best friend. She's like a sister to me, is it the same way when it comes to her ? I don't know. Not because she's not a good friend , she's amazing but because she doesn't let you know. Maybe I'm a friend just like any other friend she has . I don't think so but ...

She has quite a big family and I don't so I feel like I have one through her and that feels good. She's funny , fun to be around and I feel like we complete each other in a way and that's good. She's not fake. It's someone you can really be open about your opinion with. I don't like her complaining about everything or if she sees something she automatically wants it. she thinks that anybody is beautiful but her. I want her to be "confident" because it's not only about the appearance it's also a state of mind. I would love her to realise how special and beautiful she is and thank god for everything and everyone he blessed her with. I love you Taylor swift styles (that's how I call her haha ! BFF thing ;)

If you're reading this ... Hi :D

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It feels so good to let it all out !

I wrote this chapter in 6 minutes wow .

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