Philippines: I've got some bad news
Timor: lay it on me gently
Philippines: ok, knock knock
Timor: who's there?
Philippines: herpes.
————————————
Malaysia: the problem is that obesity runs in our family
Philippines: no, the real problem is that no one runs in your family
————————————
Philippines: why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Philippines: because they are tired of using their own.
————————————
Philippines: *wipes Indonesia's face*
Indonesia: What're you doing?
Philippines: cleaning.
————————————
Philippines: What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?
Philippines: They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.
————————————
Philippines: what did Santa call his reindeer that couldn't fly?
Philippines: dinner.
———————————
Philippines: What type of book has only characters and no story?
Philippines: a telephone book.
——————————
Myanmar: why are you so boring?
Philippines: hey everybody told me to believe in myself, now you're judging me?! What kind of society is this?!
——————————
Philippines: I couldn't sleep
Philippines: and in video games, they say you couldn't sleep unless you are away from monsters.
Philippines: remember what I said that I couldn't sleep?
Vietnam: you should stop playing video games.
———————————
Philippines: the stars are beautiful tonight.
Brunei: yes they are.
Philippines: but you know what else is beautiful tonight?
Brunei: *blushes* what?
Philippines: me.
———————————
Philippines: three words. Say it and I'm yours.
Brunei: I....
Brunei: got food.
Philippines: *hugs Brunei*
———————————
Philippines: HEY MALAYSIA!
Malaysia: what?
Philippines:
Malaysia:
Philippines: Natting~ (nothing)
———————————
Cammy: what's your favorite color?
Philippines: Mangoes
Cammy: that's not a color.
Philippines: EDI ANG KULAY SA MANGGA (then the color of the mango)
Cammy: which one?
Philippines: *shoves mango in cammy's mouth*
——————————
Philippines: pen pen de sarapen
Philippines: forever mo,
Philippines: wala pa rin.
(Someone please translate this idk)
———————————
Brunei: I like your pants.
Philippines: thanks. They were 50% off.
Brunei: I'd like them 100% off.
Philippines: the store just can't give clothes away.
Brunei: that's not what I—
Philippines: that's a terrible way to run a business, Bru.
————————————
Philippines: A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice-cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto the stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No" he replied, "Arthritis."
————————————
Philippines: are you from Europe?
Philippines: cause europiece of shit.
————————————
Philippines: I wish there was never an as :D
Philippines: There was NEVER on US? #DONTudare
Philippines: There was an ever an as.
————————————
Philippines: Kano (either a short word for Americano or how much in filipino) yung manok? (How much is the chicken?)
Person: Hindi po sir, our pilipino yan (no sir, it's pure filipino)
Philippines: no i mean, magkano po? (How much?)
Person:
Philippines:
Chicken:
————————————
Philippines: you're pretty?!
Philippines: Aren't you scared of what you just said?!
————————————
YOU ARE READING
☆ᴀsᴇᴀɴ ɪɴ ᴀ ɴᴜᴛsʜᴇʟʟ ☆
Random[UNDER RECONSTRUCTION] Either crack, fluff, angst, historical events, and basically just the awesome randomness of the ASEAN family! (WARNING: CONTAINS BAD WORDS AND SCENES IN THE BOOK WHICH ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN) *ASEAN- Association of Sou...
