distraction; jg + sw

fourteen

avery+

"i don't want him in my life anymore." i looked at sammy, "all he does is make me miserable."

sammy took my hand in his, "then cut him off, you have me and you always will. i can promise you that," sammy smiled at me.

i smiled back at him and blushed, looking straight at the road. thinking, and trying to imagine my life without a jack in it. would i still be miserable or would it finally make me happy?

"the problem is people have promised me before" i told him.

"i get it, i need to gain your trust" he laid his hand on mine.

"the truth is, i don't trust anyone" i played with his hand.

"no one at all?" he asked in shock.

"well maybe jack's mom" i laughed. "but no one else, i thought i could trust johnson but he even tells everyone my thoughts and feelings" i explained.

and yes i did forgive johnson for doing that but it somewhat changed our relationship. i sadly can't tell him everything anymore.

"i'll tell you my thoughts and feelings" he volunteered.

"okay" i nodded.

"i like you a lot. and yes i have slept around but i want to grow up and be with one person" he told me.

"well i like you too, and i really do appreciate the honesty" i smiled.

"i know that you like me, but i also know that you're in love with jack" he said.

"no i'm not" i laughed lightly.

"avery, it's okay. you can tell me, i won't be hurt or mad" he told me.

it honestly turned me on how mature he was being about all of this.

"well i wouldn't call it in love, but i've had feelings since i met him" i told him awkwardly.

"are you willing to move on?" he asked.

was i? i mean obviously i'll never have a chance with him. maybe i should move on, for my own good.

"i'm willing to try" i sat up.

he just locked my hand in his and kept driving. it was silent the rest of the ride. but not awkward at all.

i felt what i used to feel with jack. except better with sammy, because it wasn't just in my head. i'm finally getting back in my groove. no more bad vibes with jack. time for good vibes with sammy.

and maybe i don't feel a spark with sam, but that stuff isn't real anyway. i still care about him and want to be with him.

-

"you seem pretty happy" lauren investigated as i cleaned up the living room.

"why is that so surprising?" i asked playfully.

"because you're usually all lonely and down in the dumps" she said honestly.

"i know. it's just, things are going so great with sammy. i'm finally just letting things happen" i smiled at the thought of where we are.

"are you getting serious?" she cocked a brow.

"i don't know, maybe" i shrugged. "would that be bad?" i asked, caring about her opinion.

"no. i'm just shocked to see sam be so serious about a girl and you to move on from jawline" she said. "but you guys are cute" she held my hands.

"he's so sweet, there's no mind games like with jack. it's nice" i stressed.

me and lauren continued to talk for a while until she had to sleep for work in the morning. i was just watching tv when johnson barged into the house with jack and derek.

i may be steering clear of jack but i would never ask lauren or johnson to stop seeing him. that's so unfair. and it's my problem not their's. we're all adults here. well maybe jack isn't.

"oh sorry avery, i didnt know you were home. we can come back another time" johnson rushed.

i smiled at his gesture, "nonsense. i should probably head to bed anyway" i shook it off and kissed his cheek before heading to bed.

it was really no problem going to bed because i wanted to talk to sammy. we've been calling each other every night. he surprisedly doesn't want me staying there before we get too serious.

"who's that?" sammy asked through the phone, hearing voices behind the door.

"johnson has jack and derek over and they realized i'm on the phone with you" i explained.

"i would be jealous i wasn't invited but i'm the one talking to you" he told me and i could tell he was smirking through the phone.

-

i woke up in the morning to get my coffee as i saw some vans and converse at the door, knowing one was johnson's and the other jack's so derek went home.

i decided to text sammy goodmorning first as i said "morning sweet cheeks" as i smiled at my phone.

"why do you think you and sammy have been working out? just curious for my own issues" jack sat down.

i put my phone down on the table, deciding there was no harm in answering a question. i want nothing more than to just be civil.

"i think the key to whatever we have is honesty. even if we don't want them to know we tell each other everything" i thought about it.

he nodded, deep in his thoughts. maybe him and natalie were really having issues. not to be petty, but i could bet she's probably not the most honest person and i know jack leaves a lot out.

"what's up with you and honesty? you've always been obsessed with it" he asked.

"honesty is sexy. it proves that you're loyal and you're not afraid to share your thoughts and feelings. like you can actually trust them" i admitted.

"makes sense. do you trust me?" he continued.

"with my life? yes. with my heart? no" i continued my theme telling the truth.

"i feel the same way" he slightly smiled.

it hurt that he felt that way, but so do i. and at least he was telling me the truth for once. maybe me and jack could be very distance friends but i don't see us going back to where we were for a while, if ever.

"maybe we should take some time apart, to think about things" i played with my fingers.

"what things?" he inquired, acting like what we said didn't just mean anything.

"...i just think we should stay out of each others lives for a while" i said, making myself clear.

"is that what you want?" he asked me, surprisingly calm.

"it's what i need" i told him.

"okay then" he straighten himself up and left the room casually.

"okay then" i said to myself as i finished my coffee.

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- lyss