Life in Color ✔️

15~Chicken

Eventually I cave, ducking my head sheepishly. "Well, now I feel like a bitch."

He lets out a laugh, "Don't, I was an ass last week so now we're even."

Fair enough. Although, my actions were more justified than his.

His laughter stops as he notices my nose, my hand flies up to cover it. I flinch in pain as my fingers brush over the bridge of my nose. The bruise, I forgot about it. "What happened last night?"

Oh no. That's something I don't want to talk about.

I take sudden interest in my hemline in order to avoid his gaze, "Didn't anyone tell you?"

He grabs my hand to still it, his thumb rubbing back and forth across my palm. "No, they said I should hear it from you."

Damn them. This was their way of telling me It's time to spill the beans on our parents, the two situations completely connected. I don't speak for a while, unsure of what to say. I take in the bruises covering his knuckles. He helped fight for me, I owe him an explanation.

"That guy, Bennett, he was my first and only boyfriend. We dated my freshman year." I hesitate, unsure of how to continue. He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I was happy at first, my parents hated him but I was intrigued. He offered something I had never experienced before, trouble. We dated and then life got in the way. I went through somethings and was in a different place mentally then he was."

I remove my stare from his hand, accidentally looking at his eyes. They watch me intently. I can do this, it's Ashton after all.

"One night we were together and I wasn't interested in doing a certain thing. He wasn't too fond of my rejection after the fact he had waited so long. So.. so.."

My mind flashes back to that night, we were in his room. The radio blaring some shitty rap song. A month after my parents accident and I was still a mess. Living with Karen was a nightmare. My anxiety and depression had rocketed to new levels. I had said no repeatedly, the first time was bad enough. He claimed he deserved it.

I was terrified of him.

Ashton flexed his hand, "Did he-"

"No... Sage had shown up to walk me home since it was getting late, walking over from a friends house. He stopped Bennett before anything could happen. I hadn't actually seen him face to face since then, that's partially why I was so unhinged last night."

I'm shaking, again.

Ashton wraps me in a hug, pulling me into his lap. I don't protest, perhaps it's better to just go with the flow for once.

I watch Ashton think about something, "What did he mean about meds?"

This is it Scarlett. A perfect segway into a conversation about my parents and life I live.

No pressure.

"I have anxiety and I was depressed. Around the time Bennett and I ended things I was in a rougher patch." That's the understatement of the year. "That's why he mentioned it. Also, he probably guessed I hadn't told you about it and he wanted to bother me." Which he succeeded at.

I can't do it. Call me chicken but I can't, I've already unloaded too much emotional baggage today.

I watch his face, waiting for him to realize not only do I have relationship problems but I also have a fucked up mind. I'm a real winner ladies and gentlemen. Instead, his grip tightens.

"If I ever see that piece of trash again, I'll kill him." Ashton spits out and I gape at him, I wasn't expecting that. Questions definitely. Comments maybe. But certainly not that.