need you now ~ newtmas

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based on Lady Antebellum's song Need You Now

Pictures scattered their bedroom floor. Memories. The room was a mess, having degraded since the apartment lost an occupant. Since Thomas lost Newt. The brunette boy's eyes were swollen, an angry red, as they looked from picture to picture. He had hoped it'd bring him some semblance of happiness. In all of them, there was only one constant: himself and the smiling blond, always together, always happy, no matter where they were. 

Angrily swiping at his tears, Thomas let out a sob. How could he let this happen? It had only been a day since they'd fought. They shouldn't have even fought in the first place. Why? God, Thomas couldn't even remember now. He wondered if Newt was thinking the same things. 

Would he call? Had he called, maybe? Yeah, he just didn't hear it. Thomas found comfort in his lies as he reached for his phone. No missed calls. He unlocked it anyway, ignoring the pain of the background he still hadn't changed, fighting the memory of that day and the kiss caught on camera.

His thumb hovered over the contact "Newtie <3" and he squeezed his eyes shut. Did Newt never think about him anymore? It had only been a week since the fight, and he had been on Thomas' mind ever since. He couldn't fight it anymore. Dialling the number he knew by heart, he called.

"Ay, 's Newt. I'm not able to answer so leave your message, an' I'll answer ya later." The beautiful accent Thomas loved so much picked up after five rings. Oh, god. He shouldn't have called. He was in the middle of telling himself how stupid he was when the tone beeped, and he knew he had to leave a message.

"Uhm," Thomas sniffed, trying to reign in his emotions. "It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I- I need you. I know I said I wouldn't call but I just lost control and I don't know how I've lasted this long without you but I- I need you, Newt." 

Across town, Newt downed a shot of whiskey, relishing the stinging feeling it left as it trailed down his throat. His eyes were dead as he stared off into space, the noise in his head louder than the noise of the bar. He'd glance at the door every so often, imagining his Tommy sweeping in, looking beautiful as ever with that stupidly graceful way he walked, just to tell him to stop drinking and take him home for the night. Tommy wouldn't do that now. Newt had ruined his chances. 

Could Tommy feel the same? Probably not. The things he'd said were decidedly nicer than the venomous crap that Newt spit at him in return. All he wanted was to take it back.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He didn't want to answer anyone who wasn't Thomas and ordered another shot. The waitress looked sad for him but did as he asked. The phone kept buzzing. Newt resisted the urge to break it, ripping it out of his coat to check. He thought he was dreaming when "Babyy 💘" flashed across the screen. 

Newt downed the shot, slamming the glass back on the bar. As fast as he could, he paid the fee and slid a fiver to the waitress. Stumbling out of the bar, he let himself still in the cool air, let himself relax in the silence for a second so he could fully take in the message.

"Uhm. It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I- I need you now. I know I said I wouldn't call but I just lost control and I don't know how I've lasted this long without you but I- I need you, Newt."

Newt could hear the sadness in Thomas' voice, the boy's sobs obvious. It hurt him to know that he did this to his baby, his love, his whole world. Newt slid his phone into his pocket, wiped a tear off of his cheek, and hailed a cab. 


The doorbell rang, startling Thomas. He didn't want to answer, not getting up from his spot on the floor. He wasn't expecting any packages, Minho had a key, and Teresa would've texted him before coming. It wouldn't be her anyway, she had visited this morning. Whoever it was could see themselves out. 

It rang again. Three times. Four. Thomas yelled and stood, stomping angrily to the door and throwing it open. He gasped, all of his anger melting away.

The boy in front of him looked a mess, and Thomas knew he mirrored him. The blond hair that Thomas loved to run his fingers through was unwashed and messy, his beautiful dark eyes bloodshot, a pained look to them. They stood there, staring, watching each other carefully as scared children might. Thomas could smell the alcohol from where he was standing.

"I got your message." It was Newt who spoke first, sounding too sober for someone drunk. Thomas sobbed and launched himself at Newt.

They fit perfectly, like always. Newt's arms circled Thomas' waist and he bent his head into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent, so happy that his Tommy would take him back. Thomas had his head buried in Newt's shoulder, his arms around his neck. They both resisted the urge to cry. 

"It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you too, love. I told myself I wouldn't come, but I needed you, Tommy, I still need you, and I'm so, so sorry." Newt held Thomas as tightly as possible, not wanting to ever let go.

"I need you too, Newt." Thomas pulled him inside and closed the door. A second later he was pressed against it, and Newt kissed him softly. He put a hand on Newt's jaw, trying to get him even closer. "Oh, my baby. I'll always need you."

{ published July 18/18, edited July 12/19 }


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