Dear Diary

FATHER AND SON

"He didn't do anything or say anything?" Madhu

"He treated the fresh cuts and asked me to wear my shirt again." RK

"Then What?" Madhu

"We got ready to go to the college. He wanted to go with me in my car not with the driver. I think he wanted to talk with me, or ask me about what he saw. But he couldn't.

We stayed silent until my car hit another one on the road. It was the other driver fault not mine. Two young men got out from the other car. It was easy to notice that they were high timber. I got out from my car. Instead of trying to calm them down, I pushed them farther with my words.

I called them blind and stupid. I even gave one of them the first punch. I wanted them to beat me. When they started, I didn't resist. I just stood there and acted like their punch bag." RK

"Why did you want them to beat you?" Madhu

"I wanted to punish myself. I felt guilty for my father pain. I failed him. I wasn't the perfect son he thought he has. And that was my mistake.

I forgot all about my father was with me and he watched them beating me. He got out of the car immediately and tried to defend me. One of them pushed him and my father fell on his back.

I got angry, very angry seeing my father on the ground. I got up and started to beat them. I couldn't control myself. I beat them both so hard. My father had to remove me from one of them.

He took them both in my car and drove us all to the hospital. He ordered to treat them free and asked them not to file a case against me. They agreed because it was mostly their fault.

Then my father took me home. He locked himself with me in his room. He told me neither of us would leave the room unless I talked. He said we either would not eat or leave. We stayed for hours. I wasn't worry about myself. I can stay for days without food. I was worry about him. He was diabetic. He couldn't stay without food for long.

I decided to tell him everything. I told him what happened to me. I told him about my so called friends. I told him about the drugs in the campus. I didn't hide anything from him. He made me promise him to love myself. To take care of myself. No matter what happen I never ever punish myself like that again. Only then we left the room and he ate." RK

"What did he do with them?" Madhu

"We never talked about this topic again. I never knew what he did with them. But when I went back to college two day after that day they weren't there. And I started new relation with my father after that day." RK

"A father and son relationship?" Madhu

"No. We never had typical father and son relationship. We have a different relationship." RK

"How is it different?" Madhu

"Our relation is not based on love like any other father and son. It is based on respect. I know he loves me and he knows I love him. But neither of us show this love.

We can talk for hours about books, political topics, or new medical researches. But we never share our feeling about anything. I know he is there to support me whenever I need him. And I the same for him." RK

Madhu couldn't say anything. She just stared in his eyes. Then she hugged him. He laid down on his back and Madhu's head rested on his chest. They stayed silent for few minutes. RK was staring at the ceiling and Madhu was hugging him. Then RK broke the silence and asked her

"Do you remember when I met you years ago? When we had that fight and you passed out in my office." RK

"Yes I remember." Madhu