Chapter One:

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Chapter One:

"Hey, Spencer." Casey exclaimed, putting her arms around my waist. Her wavy blonde hair tickled at my face.

"Hey, babe," I said, awkwardly as she kissed me. She didn't notice my awkwardness. She never did.

"What are you doing tonight?" She asked, as we walked towards English.

"Ummm...nothing." I said, not able to find a reason to decline her incoming date request.

"Cool. Do you want to go to the drive-in tonight?" Casey asked, excited. Did I want to spend ten dollars on a movie we weren't going to watch, just to make out? Not really but every guy here did and I was too afraid word would get around if I said no. I didn't want to raise any suspicion.

Looking into her baby blue eyes, I said, "Sure, I'll pick you at seven."

"See ya then, baby." Casey said, pecking me on the lips and leaving to go next door to Mr. Baldwin's classroom. I leaned against the lockers and sighed. I stood there mustering the courage to face the last hour of school. I sat right behind Adam Jones, the guy I've had a crush on since the ninth grade. He had short blonde hair and wide hazel eyes that looked so sweet and innocent. He was strong and muscular from playing soccer. We were friends, not close as I would like but still friends. We talked about sports and cars. He has never had a girlfriend even though he has had plenty of offers. That gave me hope but I knew it was ridiculous to think he would be gay like me. As far as I knew I was the only in this town like me. Not that anyone would be open about being gay in a town this conservative. The bell rang, interrupting my train of thoughts. Class drug on and on. Ms. Bell gave us an essay due by next class which was nothing unusual but disheartening. The bell rang, releasing me from part one of hell. Now for part two of hell but first time to talk to Adam.

"Another essay from that hag." He complained as we walked out.

"I know." I groaned even though deep down me was happy with it. It kept me away from my dad and got me out of being with Casey.

"Yeah so what are you doing tonight?" Adam asked.

"Going out with Casey." I said, as we got to my locker. I put in my combination and saw a brief look of disappointment but it was over too quickly to be certain.

"Cool. I'm going to start on this essay so I don't fail." Adam said. "Umm...so see you later."

"Sounds good, man. See you later." I said, watching him walk away. Frustrated I kicked my locker. Luckily no one saw. I was just so pissed that this was my life. Pretending I wasn't gay. Pretending I was so in love with Casey. Pretending all those bruises was from baseball. I was tired of it because I couldn't do anything about it. Not a damn thing. Even if Adam was gay, we couldn't be public. This whole town was homophobic. I slammed my locker and walked home.

The walk to and from school was usually the best part of my day. My home was hell. School was hell. In between wasn't. It was a time that I didn't have to speak or pretend. I could feel the cool breeze against my face, giving me a break from the Mississippi heat. People waved and said hello as I passed. I always gave a polite nod and smile in return. Once I got out of the town square, I had a solid five minutes of solitude all to myself.

I lived on a small quiet street. All the houses were small and one story. Some were pretty and kept up with and others were destroyed by alcoholic rednecks that lived in them. Ours was beautiful thanks to my mom. She spent every morning tending to her gardens and flowers. I was constantly out here cutting the grass, weed eating, and trimming the bushes. I went inside. Inside the house was spotless. Mom spent all day cleaning and paying bills. That's what Dad believed woman should do. I didn't believe that so I helped out as much as I could. Dad yelled at me for it, saying it was demeaning her by giving her less to do. Mom would just sit there and nod. Sometimes I didn't know why I tried to help her. She wouldn't protect me.

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