You Help Me Live (Camren)

Chapter 6: Walking Home (Camila's P.O.V)

"Why can't you just admit that you liked it? I saw your face, and you were in heaven!" I didn't know how to answer. I couldn't say I enjoyed it. I couldn't admit to myself that maybe, just maybe, I liked Lauren. 

I asked her to let it go. I told her it was a mistake and that I was sorry. What more did she want from me? 

"Camila, I'm not going to let it go, and I refuse to believe that you thought of it as a mistake!" I wasn't ready for her to say that. I couldn't believe that Lauren actually cared. Did she enjoy it? 

I began to speak. I'm not even sure what I was saying. I was just trying to say something to allow me to leave. Then she kissed me again. The same lips that got me into this mess were pulling me back. 

I felt her arms wrap around my waist and eventually my brain lost control and my hands instinctively went up to her face. I felt her tongue going around in my mouth, and it felt good. It felt good to have a connection with someone for the first time in a long time. I finally realized what I was doing and pushed Lauren back. The tears were no longer falling from my eyes, but the lump in my throat still remained. 

"Why would you do that?" I said touching my lips. The same feeling from last night took over and I could have sworn that my lips were about to fall off. 

I could see that Lauren was talking again, but the only part I actually heard was, "You weren't the only one in heaven last night Camila." The anger that overtook me was too extreme to ignore. How dare she keep relating the kisses to heaven? Even if that is what they felt like, what gave her the right to comment on them? 

"Heaven, that's where you think I was last night?! Try hell Lauren, I was in hell!" I regretted my words right after I said them. I saw the sadness in her face, and I hated it. I didn't want to be the one making her sad; I wanted to be the one making her laugh an smile. 

I couldn't stand there and look at the sadness on her face, so I turned around and began to walk home. Forget my uniform, I just want to leave. I heard Lauren yell at my back, and I turned around to see what she had said.  

"Tell me that you didn't enjoy last night! Tell me that you didn't enjoy the kiss we just had! Look me straight in the eyes and tell me all of that meant nothing, and that you don't even POSSIBLY like me!" She said with more anger than I had ever seen from her. She yelled at me like it was her last chance. In a since, it kind of was. The pools of tears in my eyes began to overflow and the lump in my throat only grew. I tried to think of a suitable answer for her, but I couldn't. 

"I, I, I can't." I said before I could think. I knew I just implied that I enjoyed all of it, but I didn't care at this point. It was obvious that she wasn't letting this go. I had to get away from here. I could stand here and listen to her anymore. I couldn't look her in the eyes and tell her that I didn't love her, because I think I do. Actually, I know I love her, but I can't worry about her, I have to keep on with life like I always have. 

I ran, and I knew I was heading home, but I wasn't sure if I would stay. I just need to go and do something else. I was halfway down the street when I heard footsteps running up behind me. 

Before I had time to run faster, Lauren ran in front of me, blocking my path. She looked annoyed, but her eyes said that she was concerned. I didn't want to stop and look at her, but my feet were frozen in their place and my mind wasn't working anymore. 

"Don't admit it then, but at least give me a chance." She said as she took my hands and pulled me closer. I didn't want to be here anymore, I just wanted it all to end. I didn't want to be so confused, because my brain said to stick with what I know, but my heart said to be with Lauren.