I fell for a few seconds but it felt like hours. finally thinking about everything I just did my baby, my girl, my wife was going to have to live the rest of her life alone with anyone to love. I was so unloveable but she somehow fell in love with me and I will always love her. no matter how much she might hurt me. i. love. her. and I let my selfishness get the best of me to end my pain but to give her more. I didn't even let her explain. she would never smile her adorable smile. just carry her broken heart forever. I fucked up and there is no fixing this fuck up. until I was caught in a net. I looked around at my hands my body and everything that seemed so fake. am I fucking dead? I turned over to see the ground was only 6-7 feet below me. I was caught in a suicide net.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I guess other people had this idea before. I laid there for a second thankful for what had happened. I started crying for what seemed like the billionth time tonight but this time it was out of joy. I did but how do I get down without anyone knowing I am here? I want to go home. I want to love her again. then I realized I had my switchblade in my pocket. I started cutting through the net so I could fall through. as soon as I cut a hole big enough for me to slide through I did and when I hit the solid rock hard ground I got the wind knocked out of me making start to dry-heave. when I finally calmed myself down I found a small staircase leading up the cliff probably put there so they could get fellow jumpers down. when I got to my car I sat there for a second to see if this was real. If I was really alive. I was. I turned the key in the ignition and backed out going down the mountainside.
***
I pulled up at my house hesitating if I should go in I ended up sitting there for 45 minutes crying with my head on the steering wheel thinking about Reddish Blu. I have so much love for one person. I could never leave her. we truly are... soul mates. but, when we fight I feel as if I have no one to turn to even thought there are so many people in this house maybe I should actually get my lazy ass up and spend time with them. I stepped outside my truck ready to make changes. ready to be a husband... maybe a dad one day. I'm ready now. I walked in not knowing what to expect.
the first person who responds to this gets to pick if the book should end rn or I should keep going bc ik how to end it rn and ik how to keep it going. yall pick. :) 1...2...3...go!
