Antidote

Chapter 14.

"I could've stayed Hayden, I should have stayed."

"No, you did the right thing by leaving. I betrayed you and I lied about it to your face. I was never going to tell you about it, I was forced to because she got pregnant. You would've eventually become unhappy with me and I would've been too selfish and egotistical to break up with you."

"I was more hurt that you didn't tell me than you actually cheating," I tell him honestly. "I was running like I usually do because you lied and you couldn't open yourself up to me the way I wanted."

"Running from me was the best thing you could ever do for yourself, baby."

"If you feel this way, why do you want to be together again? It is because I'm pregnant?"

"If I only wanted to be with you because you're with child I don't think I would've flown here to spend these days with you or pray that you move in with me so I can spend longer than a few hours a day with you. You being with child is just a plus, Alice."

"You always know the right thing to say." His words have a way of melting away any fears or doubts I have about us. Most times, when he isn't being spiteful, he says everything I want to hear. He says the things that weaken me to his very being making me fall harder without thinking of any consequences. He has a way of making me momentarily forget the hurt and only focus on the love.

"Almost all psychopaths do." He jokes and reverts his attention back to the game board. "Should we finish our game?"

"I'd rather take my L now while I still have a little bit of dignity left."

"Good choice." He joins me in my laughter. He begins helping me put the game away when he asks, "Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook for you?"

"You cook?" I don't know why I find this so hard to believe, he is a jack of all trades.

"Well I'm not Gordon Ramsay but I know a thing or two about cooking."

"I don't believe you." Breakfast is one thing, but for Hayden to cook an entire dinner? He's never cooked for me before, if Mrs. Sutter didn't cook I was there to do it. "Mrs. Sutter always cooks for you."

"Heather." He tells me. Another piece of information about him that I never knew before. I've been learning a lot about his past. I'm just glad he's open to talking about it without me having to pry and beg for information. "She loved cooking and baking. After Ryder informed her of my nightly rendezvous she made it a nightly ritual that we cook and eat dinner together."

"She taught you how to cook."

"Among many other things." Things that a woman who was taking on the role of a mother figure shouldn't have taught him.

"What are you going to make for me?" I decided to switch topics before his comment leads me down a road I no longer have the desire to travel with him. I've exhausted myself before digging for information about Heather, Lina, and any other woman with significance to his adolescent years. I've worn myself out so now I prefer to steer clear of the topics unless Hayden wants to talk about it. "I don't have much, I eat a lot of takeout with my mother."

"Your life sounds very pathetic, no offense." He adds to lighten the blow of his comment. "Come on, let's go to the kitchen."

He rises from the floor and extends his hand out to me. He helps me up when I take his outstretched hand and I lead the way to the kitchen. I knew before we went in there we wouldn't find much but actually looking through the refrigerator was even more shocking.

I never usually eat dinner alone, I'm always with someone and it's rarely ever at my own house. I go out for dinner and because of work I don't need to buy food for the house. Trying to recall the last time I went grocery shopping I only can seem to remember some time before I even found out I was pregnant. It's almost shameful now that I think about it.