Antidote

Chapter 9.

The idea of that breaks my heart.

"You still wear the ring?"

"I never take it off." He tells me and abruptly rises from his seat, my hand that was previously set on top of his falling onto the table. "Let me go bathe Naomi and put her to bed, she has no patience, I'm surprised she hasn't run back down here or called to me repeatedly."

Hayden was out of the dining room before I had the chance to say anything on the topic of the ring or promises. I would like to promise that I will stay but I've learned not to make promises I can't keep. I desire to stay, I don't want to run anymore. I'm tired of running, I just want to be happy with Hayden. When I was with him I left and left and left even after promising I wasn't going anywhere. Granted I didn't know being with him was ever going to be as painful as it was. I can't make empty promises the way I did last time.

Clearing off the dining table, I walk the empty plates to the kitchen where Mrs. Sutter was alone washing the dishes she used to cook with. She's quick to grab them from my hands as I approach the sink, "Miss Greene, you didn't have to do that. I would have taken care of it."

I've gotten used to cleaning up after myself and washing my own dishes since I had moved, I didn't think anything of it. "I'm sorry, I usually do this myself at home."

"You're back here again," She changes the subject, nothing seeming to get past her, "this time you're meeting Naomi. I take it you're staying?"

"I have to finish work then I'll be coming back," I inform her. Speaking about this with Mrs. Sutter isn't uncomfortable to me, we practically lived together at Hayden's first house since she was there majority—if not all—of the time. I tend to find older women to be motherly since I grew up without that presence, and Mrs. Sutter is surely on that list.

"For good?"

"Yes. Hayden and I are having a baby." I haven't even told my own mother this. It's now on the list of things to tell my mother, along with me getting back with Hayden and moving back to Seattle to be closer to him.

"Oh," A whimpering sound comes from her as she thrust me into a hug, enveloping me in her embrace, "congratulations, my dear."

I'm already aware it won't go this well with my mother.

"Thank you." She hasn't let go and I don't push her away.

"He needs you, Alice." Her voice is so small, it's like she wanted me to hear it but she didn't at the same time. The shakiness in her voice tells me she's fighting back tears. I believe that's why she hasn't pulled away yet, she doesn't want me to see it. "I'm sorry if I'm being too personal with you."

"No, Mrs. Sutter, you never need to apologize to me for anything like this." She steps back holding my hands in her own.

"I've been around him since he came to America and I am not exaggerating when I tell you, you are the only person in the world that has ever broken down his barriers showing him real love and empathy. You gave him feelings again, you opened his heart up to love and pain, you showed him who he could have been and who he admired to be. Unfortunately, it didn't work out the first time, but he gets a second chance. You staying again gives him the opportunity to be the man you deserved the first time around."

I can feel the tears coming myself but I force myself to hold them back. Although I found myself struggling to blink away the burn in my eyes and swallow back the lump in my throat. If I speak I fear the tears may come and I won't be able to control them.

"Hayden is already an amazing father and I know you'll be the best mother to your unborn child. I truly am happy for the both of you." She hugs me again, this time quicker than the first one. "I'll let you go so I can finish up in here and go home to my own family. And I'm positive Hayden doesn't want to walk in here to the two of us on the brink of tears." She finishes with a soft chuckle.