Don't Judge Me, Judge Yourself Sis

What About Us?

"What do you mean 'no'?" asks Jay. I shrug my shoulders with my best puppy dog eyes. "And not just 'no' , you said 'hell no'" Jay squints at me surprised.
"Look, it's nothing personal. I think you're a great guy and all. I'm just in a weird place right now" I say.
"But you're home" replies Jay.
"I don't mean literally, Jay. I have a lot going on." I roll my eyes. I hope this nigga ain't serious.
"So, we go through it together. It's simple shawty." Jay smiles and pulls me closer. I pull away slowly.
"It's not simple. Look, I just need time to figure some shit out. You just have the worst timing."I turn to walk in the house. He lightly grabs my wrist. He pulls me in again and kisses me. I want to resist but I can't. I kiss him back. His hands wonder around my body. He caresses my hips , then aggressively grabs my ass. I moan while kissing him. I'm saying "stop" in between kisses. I don't mean it though. He picks me up while he leans against his car in my driveway. My legs grip his hips and I thrust against him while kissing. He kisses my neck. I let out a soft moan. I can hear him grunt as he sucks my neck. I'm so wet, I'm not sure if it's sweat or juices running down my leg. Naw. It's sweat. I'm hot as hell. I snap out of this spell. I look around. "Wait. We can't do this" I say in a serious tone.
"Shut up" he demands. I shut my ass up. He holds on to me, as he walks me to my door. He must love picking me up, because this is exactly how we first fucked and it was amazing. He walks with me into the kitchen and places me on the counter. He pulls my pants down like an animal in heat.
"Jay. I can't" I say, pleading. He ignores me and drills his tongue inside of me. I bite my lip and throw my head back. "Fuck!" I scream. I take my shirt off and throw it on the floor. I squirm but he pins his hand against my chest. He slurps and licks all on my lips. I feel him let spit fall from his mouth , to my pussy then lick it back up before it drips between my ass. Then he squeezes my breasts as he massages my clit with his tongue. My body shakes and I pull his head deeper. I'm not sure if he can breathe but I don't care. He's gonna have to suffocate in this pussy the way he's eating it. I let out a scream as I cum all over his face. My body goes limp as he comes up, wiping his facial hair. I feel paralyzed. He pulls his dick out. It's so hard, I can see the veins on his dick and it throb. I see how bad it wants me. I submit. I open my legs as he enters me. On the counter, my legs hanging off, he goes deep inside me. I lay back taking it, moaning. He speeds up his stroke as my titties bounce from the force. Harder he goes. I sit up and he pins me back down by my neck. My body shakes and I orgasm once again. I look up as I see sweat dripping from his forehead unto my stomach. I can feel his dick jumping inside me.
"Ah shit, I'm about to cum" he moans.
"Cum inside me" I say.
"Huh?" he says
"It's ok. Cum inside me" I repeat
"Naw" he replies.
"It's ok. I'm pregnant" I say
"What?" he asks confused.
"I'm already pregnant, just do it." I say
"Bitch, What ?" he responds.
"Cum the fuck inside me nigga damn!" I shout.
"Fuck!" He shouts. He pounds me hard three times , and I can feel all of it go inside me. He then pulls out. I lay there out of breath. He leans against the fridge facing toward me. He's out of breath with his face full of confusion. I sit up and put my shirt back on. I hop off the counter and pull my pants back up.
"Soooo. You pregnant shawty? What da fuck?" says Jay.
"Yea... um.. surprise?" I say awkwardly.
"So, who's is it?" he asks.
"Don't be disrespectful bitch" I respond.
"Hey. Chill out with that 'bitch' shit. I just asked a question" he says.
"First of all. You just callled me a bitch during sex" I respond.
"That was for the sake of pleasure" says Jay.
"Pleasure my ass" I say.
"If you're into anal, I can" he responds. I roll my eyes.
"It's Tim's." I say as I go into the bathroom. Jay trails behind me.
"Is that why he proposed to you?" he asks.
"No. He doesn't know."
"He doesn't know?!"
"No"
"What the hell man. That's crazy" says Jay.
"Not really. I literally didn't find out until after he proposed" I say nonchalantly as I wash my hands in the sink.
"You just gon let me fuck you and your baby?" says Jay.
"Shut the fuck up. I told you I didn't want to!" I say with an attitude. 
"I thought you were playing hard to get!" says Jay.
"And now you're a pedophile" I say nonchalantly, walking past him.
I walk upstairs toward my room.  At the last step I turn around.  "Look. You're the only person I told.  I would appreciate you keep that info to yourself." I say.
"You got it." Jay throws up two thumbs up. I go into my room and lay on my bed. I start to think to myself.
Why would I have sex with Jay? Do I really lack self control? I'm pregnant with Tim's baby, and turn around and fuck Jay. What's even worse is we did it unprotected. The real question is what am I going to do? I would have never thought this was an option, but I think I'm going to take a trip to Planned Parent Hood. I think I'm going to have an abortion.
The next day I wake up, and I hear my phone ringing. I adjust my vision to read the name on my phone. It's Marcus.
"Hello?" I answer. 
"Hey Kali. Good morning."
"What time is it?" I ask
"7am. Did I call too early?"
Yes the fuck he did. 
"No hun. You're ok. Wassup?" I try to be polite.
"I wanted to know if we could get some breakfast. That's the only reason why I hit you up so early. I know a nice diner that makes the best waffles" says Marcus excitedly
"I'm not a big waffle fan honestly." I reply.
"Oh" he says disappointed. "What about omelettes? They have amazing omelettes"
"Now you're speaking my language" I say stretching my arms.
"Great!" Marcus voice cracks. He laughs embarrassed. "I mean, cool. I like omelettes too. My treat?"
I know I'm tired, and I have shit to figure out. I know I also need to find out how far along I am with this pregnancy. I'm not really showing, so I'm sure it's still early. I just don't want to take this baby with me on a date after I just fucked a dude with it inside me. This baby just know my ass a hoe. But his daddy ain't shit anyway. Wait. His? What if it's a boy? I always said if I had a kid, I would love a boy. I would name him "Day". He would be the "light of my life" so I would name him "Day". Wait. Pause. I can't think this way if I'm considering an abortion. What am I doing? I'm literally going crazy.
"Hello?" says Marcus. I snap back to reality.
"Oh. Uh. Sure. Sounds good. I'll get ready, just shoot me the address." I say trying to sound excited.
"Ok cool, I'll meet you there?" says Marcus
"Yes sir. Give me an hour." I reply. We get off the phone and I start to get ready.
It's summertime so I'm wearing jean shorts and some purple vans. I have a crop top hoody that's purple as well. I'm wearing an old school gold chain and my hair is wet and wavy.  I put some gloss on my lips and pull my hair into a high ponytail to head to the diner.
I walk in the diner and it's very nostalgic. It has a great 70s vibe. I can see that it's a black owned establishment and the food smells amazing. I look toward the back and spot Marcus in the booth. He looks so good. His chocolate skin is flawless, and when he smiles an entire room lights up. He stands up to give me a hug and towers over me. When I hug him, he smells like pine and toothpaste. I sit across from him.
"How have you been?" he asks.
"I'm doing alright. Life is always interesting with me." I reply.
"Interesting , how?" he asks.
"You don't wanna know" I counter. "How's your brother?" I ask.
"He's annoying. Nothin new there." He laughs. The black waitress with the gorgeous thick natural hair greets us.  She takes our drink order and goes to the back.
"When do you go back to school?" I ask.
"Not until the end of September.  You have me for the entire summer." He smiles. He's so dorky. It's kinna cute.
"Well, we will see how long you stick around."
"What do you mean by that?" Marcus asks with a slight smile.
"Not only is my life drama filled, my friends are an interesting bunch."
"Your friends can't be that bad" he counters. 
"Ray is my gay friend with diarrhea of the mouth. Lisa is possessive and a hoe. Tammy is my stylist but super sarcastic and blunt. And Toni? She's just all around crazy. She's literally diagnosed bipolar with a borderline personality disorder. Although I can say, she's been doing extremely well on her medication."
Marcus eyes get wide. The waitress brings my sweet tea and Marcus' water. We look through the menu and place our order with her. "Okay, maybe your friends sound a little nuts but you seem pretty normal to me."
"Define normal." I place my hand under my chin.
"You're beautiful. You seem very smart. You're a teacher , funny, outspoken. You'd make a great girlfriend" says Marcus.
"You do realize I met you because I literally hit your little brother with my car?" I say. "I'm sure guys don't meet their soulmates that way." I say. Marcus laughs.
"You never know. We can meet the love of our lives in the strangest places." says Marcus.
"Slow down Romeo. I'm sure I'm not your Juliet." I say laughing. We switch the subject up, and begin talking about random topics. Sports, video games , social media , and music. I realize we have a lot in common.  Our food finally comes and it's amazing. I order a shrimp omelette with hash browns. I look over and Marcus is destroying a heavily stacked pancake with strawberries. 
"I'm really glad I met you Kali. You're such a cool female" says Marcus.
"I'm alri-"
"No, really" he interrupts. "I've never met a girl that was into gaming but is a kindergarten teacher? That's crazy."
"Marcus.... I'm not re-"
"And you have your stuff together. Like, a car, a place, a career.. it's like you know who you are !" says Marcus.
"But I don't!" I say frustrated.
"Marcus. You're a sweet guy. But I will ruin you."  I say. 
"You're being dramatic." he counters.
"Oh really?" I say. "I'm 25. I just had my first boyfriend last year, and dated for a year to find out he's been living with his ex the entire time, who I beat up last year because she was under the impression I was sleeping with her man who I thought was single. I have a one night stand with a drug dealer from a gay club during me and my boyfriends break, who after a year of not speaking to , gets out of jail and I invite him to live with me. My ex boyfriend shows up at my door to apologize to me, and propose to me , just to see the one night stand .., who I lied and introduced as a gay man, standing naked in my house. Rushes to fight him to get beat the fuck up. I later have sex with this same convict after I find out I'm pregnant, by my ex. Which reminds me, I have to schedule an abortion after our breakfast date." Marcus stands there, wide eyed in silence. "THATS, who I am" I say. The awkward silence builds up. Marcus clears his throat.
"I'm a Virgin." says Marcus.  I stand there quiet. I then bust out laughing. "What?" he says offended.
"You expect me to believe that?" I ask.  He frowns up offended.
"Seriously.  I am. That's not something I would lie about." says Marcus.
"How does that happen? You're fine as hell, with a nice body and in college. Who isn't fucking you right now?" I reply.
"Well... you?" Marcus says nervously. He laughs and holds the back of his neck.
"Cute. But no. I'm not really a hoe yet, but I'm sure if I fucked you, it would definitely put me in the runnings." I reply.
"I'm joking. I mean , I'm a Virgin. But I'm joking about the... other ... part. Look. How about I go with you to the abortion clinic?" says Marcus.
"Nigga what?" I say scrunching up my face.
"Hear me out. I'm sure you'll need some type of emotional support." he says.
"Nigga, you weird as shit." I say.
"Possibly. But I respect your honesty. I don't look at you any differently" he says.
"Well, if you want to go with me to get an abortion on our first date , let's go." I say as I shrug my shoulders. He pays the check, and we leave.
"Is this your boyfriend?" the Doctor asks. We had been sitting in the doctors office for a few hours now.
"Oh. Uh. No." I respond. I look around and my stomach drops. I'm nervous. Marcus grips my hand, sitting next to me.
"It looks like you're about 8 weeks" says the Doctor.
"What does that mean?" I ask, I'm shaking.
"Well, your baby has a heartbeat" she responds.
"Really?" I ask as I hold my stomach.
"Yes mam. Would you like to hear it?" she asks.
"Um. Sure." I say.
"I'll be right back then" the Doctor leaves the room.
"Are you Okay?" Marcus asks me.  I turn to him with my eyes filled with tears.
"I don't think I can do this."