Before They Were Reunited [Bensler Fan Fic]

~1~

Olivia's POV

I sat looking at Elliot, as he typed quickly on his keyboard. He was nervous, but I don't know why. I don't know why he does anything anymore. He barely speaks to me, and I'm fearing the worst.

That he'll leave me.

"Liv, are you ready to head out? I can drop you off at the mechanics." Fin spoke, as he pulled his leather jacket on. I nodded slowly, but I kept my eyes glued to my partners.

"Elliot, do you want to come? I can drive you home afterwards." I spoke, and Elliot shook his head.

"No. I'm going out for some drinks before I call it a night." He spoke quickly, before jumping to his feet and walking towards the locker room. I frowned as I stood, but I shook my head slightly.

He isn't my issue. If he is going to be distant, it's his right. I can just live my life, and he can live his. We aren't anything more than partners, and he's made this clear in the past.

"Liv?" Fin questioned, and I stood and pulled my jacket on, and smiled at him.

"Lets go. Thanks for doing this, Fin." I replied, and he nodded.

"Of course. Come on."

---

The next morning when I headed into work, I noticed that Elliot's car wasn't outside of his building, and when I got to the precinct, it wasn't there either. He was proud of the car he restored with his father before he passed away, and he drove it everywhere. But where was he now?

I grabbed the coffees that I bought, and I carried them into the precinct and up to the bullpen. When I got in there, I saw that Elliot's desk was empty. He must've gotten drunk or something, and isn't coming in here today.

"Thanks for the coffee." Fin spoke, after he arrived ten minutes later, and I smiled.

"No problem."

"Maybe I did it. Did you ever think about that, partner?" John gasped, and Fin rolled his eyes as he sat down. I rolled my eyes and started to smile again, but my smile fell when Cragen came out of his office.

"Any of you seen Stabler yet this morning?" He mused, and I looked up with concern in my eyes.

"No. His car wasn't at his place either." I spoke, as I looked over to see if John or Fin were responding to what was happening.

"Maybe he just needed to go somewhere. Did any of you call his Mom? She might be sick or needs help with something." John spoke, after he saw my concerned look.

"Captain?" I questioned, as I turned to look at him.

"Yeah, Benson?"

"Can I go? I need to find him." I spoke, and Cragen took a slow breath, before nodding slowly.

"Keep us updated, Liv."

---

I drove around to all the places he loves. I also drove to his apartment, and went up to his floor. When I did get to his door, it was barely open, so I grabbed my gun, and slowly opened it. But there was nothing to fear. Instead there was nothing in his apartment at all.

All of his clothes were gone. His furniture wasn't there, and all of his cabinets were cleared out. Every trace of Elliot was gone, and what was left was just pain.

---

Elliot's POV

After Liv left the precinct with Fin, I packed up the important things from my locker and from my desk. I didn't want anything to do with everything else, just the items that would help me remember my best friend, since I wasn't going to be around her anymore. I needed to leave.

She didn't know, and I have no plans on telling her, but I can't suffer anymore. My mother has started to notice that I'm being more distant, and how I've been fighting off my feelings, but I need to be honest with myself, and move on.

I love Liv, but I can't actually love her. I can't show her how much I love her, and want her, because we are partners.

She has made it painfully clear that she doesn't want to mix business with pleasure, and I'll always be business to her.

---

I left my apartment with the help of a few Marine friends, and I drove out to my mother's beach house, and I parked my car before going in. As I knocked on the front door, my mother opened it because she must've seen the lights shine through her front window.

"Sweetie? What are you doing here?" She questioned, and I swallowed hard as I looked at my mother. Her eyes were full of concern, and her eyes were also extraordinarily understanding at the same time.

"Mom, can I stay here tonight? I have all of my stuff in the moving truck at my friend's place." I spoke, and she nodded, as she grabbed my arm and pulled me gently into the house.

"It's late. What are you doing here? Are you feeling alright? I can get you something to eat or-"

"Ma, I'm fine. I just need some place to stay tonight, and then I'm gonna find some place to rent in the morning."

"What about your apartment?" My mother mused.

"I've been planning on leaving for awhile. I just can't stay there anymore." I spoke, and she saw the tears well in my eyes.

"Carrot, please tell me what happened!" She exclaimed, and I shrugged as I thought about what happened.

"Ma, you know Olivia?" I questioned, and she nodded.

"Of course. She's such a lovely lady. Amazing with people." She smiled, but then it fell when she noticed how upset her compliments towards Olivia bothered me.

"You love her, don't you?" She questioned, and I nodded.

"I love her so much that it hurts. How can I continue working side by side with her, when I know that there is nothing I can ever be to her, other than a partner?"

"Elliot, go and tell her. There can always be something that can be worked out. Maybe you can transfer to another station, and you can be together. Just don't give up on her now." She spoke with intense conviction.

I wasn't going to listen to my mother, so I just kissed her cheek and headed to one of the guest rooms.

Nothing was going to work out, so I'd rather run than suffer in front of everyone.

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