I hurried upstairs and looked through all my outfits.
We were going to a club and what did people wear to clubs?
I had been so unsocial lately. But I was also in my late 30s.
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I ended up with this outfit and this was as good as it was going to get. I touched up my make up and grabbed my outing purse. I was ready! (white dress top, black skinny jeans, strappy heels)
I heard the door bell ring as I stumbled down the stairs in my hot pink heels I haven't worn since ever.
I got to the door and Colton was standing there in a dress shirt and pants with roses in his hands.
I gasped.
"Here you go!" he handed me the bouquet and then I questioned where we were really going tonight.
I accepted them and laughed.
"I thought we were going to a club."
He blushed and looked behind him.
"We can if you want or we could go pick up some dinner somewhere."
I caught my breath.
I didn't know what to say.
"It was your plan so I guess you can decide." I laughed nerviously.
Why was he making me feel this way?
"But you are the one I am taking so actually I believe that you should choose." He took my hand and brought me to his convertible.
"I guess that dinner would be my choice." I answered as he held the door open for me.
"I would agree" he answered as he got into the drivers seat.
"Also you look marvelous tonight. I haven't seen you this calm and laid back in a while. It's a nice change." He smiled at me and we met eyes.
We both looked down and he started to pull out of the driveway.
"What is your favorite restaurant in town?" He asked.
I was too busy examining the flowers that I didn't hear him. They were so beautiful even though they were just normal roses. But somehow I felt that him giving me flowers was a bigger act of kindness than just what is seen by the naked eye.
He repeated the question.
"I really like any places. I am not a picky eater."
He ended up taking me to a restaurant named Daniel that was formal dress required.
We walked in and the host assumed we were together, married.
We both chuckled and corrected him.
We got a nice seat in the back away from all the commotion and big groups.
"I wanted to talk to you about something Ana."
I looked up from the menu and I couldn't read his emotions.
"Yeah, is something wrong?" I asked.
He shook his head a smile forming.
"It's just something I have been thinking about since you first told me. About your kids."
I didn't know where this was going but I had all ears now.
"Go ahead." I put down the menu and gave my full attention.
"I think that you should take your kids back." He waited for my reaction and response.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I mean that what you did to your kids wasn't fair and you should take them back. I have a bunch of other reasons I can think of and I am sure you do too. But I really think it is the right choice."
I was silent for a few minutes.
"I really can't do this right now. I have work, and the money, and I don't have the time and my life is so different now. I don't have rooms or any furniture...." My head kept racing and all the possibilities kept coming.
"I don't know" I whispered finally.
He was still studying me and I didn't know what to say.
Finally the waiter came over and got us some wine and took our order.
Colton started the conversation.
"But deep in your heart what do you know to be the right answer. And the right thing to do." He was waiting for my eye contact.
I shook my head and sat back in my chair, taking a deep breath.
"I need my children." I finally said.
He smiled.
"But I can't, now isn't a good time."
His smile vanished. "What do you mean?" He answered.
"I mean that I don't have time or resources to take them back."
He grabbed my hands softly from across the table and I leaned in.
"Listen, your children are wonderful and beautiful because they are yours. Do you really want them to remember how you gave them up. Some people can't have children and they would give anything to be in your[ position right now."
I didn't say anything.
"Ana, my ex-wife and I we couldn't have children, and when the doctor told us that it was so heartbreaking. I would give anything to be in your place so would my wife. But you can't take back the moment when you gave them away." I looked up suddenly and saw how hurt his eyes were.
"I'm so sorry." I said and I took my hands back.
He waited.
"But I don't even know where they are." I started crying and I didn't know what else to do. I was in a fancy restaurant and I was here crying.
He got up and went over to me and gave me a hug and brought me to the lady's room.
I went inside and wiped my eyes as he waited for me outside.
When I had collected myself he was waiting with open arms.
"I can help you find them." He whispered in my ear.
