[Derek]
It's been a week since I've seen Jasin, and to say I'm fine would be a lie.
He's called and text me, but I don't pick up or reply. When he calls my mom answers the phone and the texts never get replies. Because I gave birth, I'll be out of school to recover. But graduation is soon and I'll have finals so by then I'll be ready.
I wasn't expecting to have Drew so early. I was actually expecting him to be born a week before graduation, but I guess he was ready to come when he did.
Justin helped my mom set up Drew's bed in my room. Lucky my room is huge, so it fit perfectly.
Jason signed the birth certificate but I wasn't around when he did. I'm pretty sure he saw that I named Drew after him. I really didn't have to, but I did.
You know, I should be pissed off that he cheated on me, but for some reason, I feel guilty. I feel like it's my fault.
Jason and I weren't having sex and when he tried to I was too tired or hurting too much. He never got mad or anything. He just walked away. And I felt bad.
But those images of him with her. Each time I think of it, I just want to cry or throw up. It hurt. It still hurts. No matter what problems we had.
The fact that he'd cheat on me with a woman hurt.
"Derek?" My mom's voice interrupts my thoughts. I look up to see her gently rocking Drew in her arms.
"Yes?" I say clearing my throat.
"You okay? You look distracted." She says walking into my room.
"I'm fine... Just thinking." I say sitting up in my bed. She smiles walking over and handing me Drew.
"He's such a good baby." She says watching me hold him.
"Y-yeah. He is." I say softly, watching him as he wiggled around a little.
"I just fed him and changed him. So he's good." She says making me giggle.
"Thanks mom."
"You're welcome sweetie."
"Hey hey hey..." I hear Reena whisper as she walks in.
"Hey love. When did you get in?" My mom asks.
"Just now... Is Drew sleeping?" She asks.
"Yeah. He is." I say kissing his forehead.
"Awe... He's so cute!" She squeals sitting beside me.
"Isn't he?" My mom agrees. "Derek... Um... I don't know how to say this but... I think you should talk to Jason."
There was silence.
"Derek... Did you hear me?"
I look down at Drew. She was right. I did need to talk to him. But... I don't think I'm ready.
"I-I know. And I will. Just... Not right now." I croak.
"Look I talked to him. And he's really sorry for what he did. But I think it's best that you both sit down and talk it out." Reena suggests.
"I-I... I don't know."
"Just think about it, okay?" My mom says rubbing my head.
I nod silently, going back to my beautiful baby boy sleeping peacefully in my arms. Yeah I needed to fix Jason and I. If not for me... At least for Drew.
[Jason] (read this as if he's sobbing the words...)
I miss him.
God I miss him so much.
I just wish I could take it back.
I'd take everything back.
I love him so much.
I can't live without him.
I know what I did was wrong and I hate myself for it.
I just want to be with him. Only him.
I love him.
I love our son.
I want it back.
I want it all back.
(Ok... Back to regular voice.)
I've been sitting in my room for the past seven days in the dark. I don't deserve to have light. I deserve anything. I deserve to be alone.
I deserve to die.
"Jason..."
I hear a voice at the door, but I ignore it.
"Jason c'mon. You've been locked up for a week. You need sunshine."
"G-go a-away." I sob.
"Jason... C'mon..."
"I said go away!" I yell angry.
"Listen... I know you're hurting, but staying cooped up in your room in the dark will not help you get your family back. So get ya ass out of there." Alex says.
"I-I'm not coming out til I talk to Derek." I sob softly.
He sighs frustratedly. "Fine. Suit yourself."
I hear his footsteps walk away from my door. I was serious. I have nothing without Derek. Without him, I am nothing. I grab my liquor bottle, popping my last pill and finishing off my beer. After a few seconds, I feel my body slowly shutting down. I lay on my floor, staring up at the ceiling, tears falling down my face as I realize what's happening.
"I-I love you Derek... I'm so sorry." I whisper, before I'm consumed by darkness.
(A/n: I nearly cried writing this.
What do you think will happen next?
What do you want to happen next?
Comment your thoughts or ideas.
Love you for reading😘🌺)
