✔ LITTLE MARA! ― (BRANDON ARREAGA)

twenty one

It's been about three days since the incident. He and my brother left two days ago. I don't even know where he went after the date because he didn't come back to the mara household. At this point, I didn't really care.

What he did really hurt really hurt me. I felt as if he was embarrassed to be with me. He's probably embarrassed to even know me. He's dating his best friends little sister. Who wouldn't be embarrassed by that?

I literally haven't done anything these past few days. I haven't eaten anything. I haven't drank anything. I haven't even moved from the same spot on my bed. The only time I got up was to use the bathroom but I don't even leave my room. My mom and dad have both tried to talk to me, but I won't speak. My mom had to practically force my brother to leave because he wouldn't. He'll sometimes call and just tell me about the things going on in LA and check up on me but I won't respond.

I feel as if everything was just taken from me. My dignity, my self-esteem, and sure enough my love for Brandon Arreaga. He probably didn't even love me. He probably just wanted me for sex. Look where that got us, Brandon. We rushed into things way too fast and this is where it got us. Brokenhearted and a child on the way.

"Fucking asshole." I muttered under my breath as my thoughts were invaded by him. His soft brown hair and eyes that matched. I hated him. It was official I hated him. Hate is a strong word, but I think it's suitable for this.

My bedroom door creaked open and my mother walked in. She sat on my bed and let out a sigh. "Look, I know this has to do with Brandon. Did you guys split up?" she asked, prying answers from me once again. She would do this everyday. Maybe I should just tell her.

I scooted up in the bed and leaned my head against the headboard. "He doesn't love me," I said, my voice unrecognizable to my own ears. "He never did." I said once again, my throat beginning to hurt.

"Did he tell you that?" she questioned again.

I shook my head, "No, he showed it." I said, my gaze set on the bathroom door in my room. "Actions speak louder than words." I said, not really knowing why. I guess my mouth was just gonna have its way and say what it wanted to.

"well, what exactly did he do to make you believe he doesn't love you anymore?"

"It's not that he doesn't love me anymore, mom. He never did in the first place." I corrected her. I felt as if I wanted to cry but nothing came out. I felt emotionless as the words left my lips.

"I'm sorry. What did he do that showed you he never loved you?" She questioned again. I could see out the corner of my eye that she had her eyebrows furrowed together.

"On our date, a random girl facetimed his phone while he was in the bathroom and I answered it. The look on his face once he saw I was talking to her, it made it seem like he had forgotten all about me. You know what he told her?" I said, my bottom lip trembling as I stared at her. "A friend." I repeated, my voice cracking towards the end.

She didn't say anything. Instead, she scooted closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. I cried for over 30 minutes into her shoulder. It felt somewhat good that I had let it out and spoke to someone about it.

"Will you please come eat baby? I'll bring the food up to you?" She said as she pulled away. I shook my head and laid back down, stuffing my face into a pillow. "Liliana, you have to eat. You may not be hungry, but you need to realize that there's someone else here you need to take care of. That tiny baby inside your tummy." My mouth went dry as I realized I wasn't only hurting myself. I'm caring for two now. Everything I do to myself is also causing pain to someone else.

"Mom, he doesn't know and I don't want him to know." I said, sitting up quickly.

"You didn't tell him?" My mother questioned, worry lacing her voice. "I thought that's what you were upset about." She said, making me shake my head sadly. I wish that was the only thing I had to worry about. "It's up to you, be he should know. He doesn't have to be there to support you, although it would disappoint your father and I, but he should at least know. Now come get dinner. It's spaghetti, your favorite."

A small smile fell onto my lips and I made my way out of the room, following behind my mother. "Your father's still at work." She informed me as we walked into the kitchen. I sat on the other side of the island as a plate was placed in front of me, "Don't eat too much right now. You might upset your stomach." She told me, placing a glass of water down in front of me.

The entire time I was eating, I kept thinking of ways to tell him. I could text him. I could fly out to LA and tell him. It's only Friday and school doesn't start until the Monday after next. I couldn't tell him to his face when he was here, what makes me think that i'll be able to tell him in LA? I can call him. Yeah, i'll just call him. I'll just flat out say it and hang up. That seems rude, but it's that's the only way i'll be able to tell him.

I finished my plate and told my mom that I was full as I headed back upstairs to my room. Now or never, Lily. Never seemed pretty good though. Lily, get serious. Great, now i'm talking to myself. i'm going insane.

I picked up my phone and unlocked it quickly. My finger scrolled through the contacts until I got to his name. I hadn't changed it yet, so it was still 'baby'. I bit my lip and tapped it, automatically calling him. I placed the phone to my ear and waited. He answered on the third ring. He sounded out of breath when he answered, "Lily, are you okay?" he questioned immediately.

"Yeah, i'm totally fine." I said taking a deep breath.

"Lily, baby. Please let me talk to you. Fly out to LA for the weekend. I'll pay for the ticket. Please Lily. I'm sorry." He said, making me want to throw my phone against the cream wall of my room. Should I go? I mean, it wouldn't hurt. "Please." He said once more, his voice cracking towards the end.

"Okay, fine. But only because there's something I need to talk to you about as well." I said and hung up. He send me a text 40 minutes later saying that he had purchased the ticket, there was also a link.

What the fuck am I doing?