There's A Reason... That Shit Didn't Work Out

NINE

His cell phone alarm awoke her to confusion. After opening her eyes, she remembered where she was and who she was with. Instead of feeling happy, she was overcome with worry.

Was this it? Was he gonna go back to Utah and never speak to her again? That was certainly his pattern.

"I'm gonna take a shower," he said as he got out of bed.

She watched him walk to the bathroom without one hint of concern that he was completely naked. It must be nice to have that level of confidence. For her, being naked in front of anyone made her feel ashamed.

After he closed the door she looked up at the ceiling. It hadn't been a very restful night because they had sex four times. Each with a different position and each making her long for more of his attention.

Why? Shouldn't the intimacy of sex make her feel closer to him rather than further away? Something wasn't right and she knew it.

He came out of the bathroom buck naked as she was getting dressed. As he walked past her, he slapped her ass making her flinch but he didn't notice. Unexpected touch always made her jump because of a few childhood demons.

He bent over his suitcase to find some clothes. That was not a sexy look at all so she turned her eyes away. Hairy ass crack and balls weren't her thing. She wondered if any woman on the planet was enamored with the bent at the waist hind few of male genitalia. Plus he had gained some pounds over the years so his body wasn't something she found overly attractive anyway.

"What time do you need to be at the airport?"

He dressed without looking her way. "I decided to keep my rental since you blew me off." He chuckled then look at her. "I had no idea you were really going to blow me off."

Yes, she had given him some oral but she didn't find his joke very funny.

She began to stew.

He slid his t-shirt over his head. "I can go get us some coffee from the lobby. How do you like it?"

She sighed loudly causing him to look her way.

"What was that for? You look pissed. You never have been able to hide your feelings from the world."

She crossed her arms. "You've done it to me again," she said loudly.

"What are talking about?"

Was he really this clueless? "You've used me for sex and now that you've gotten it, you're not interested in who I am."

His body paused as he processed her words. "No-"

She inturrupted. "Yes, you have."

He shouted with a biting tone. "Don't tell me how I feel!"

The sheer loudness of his reaction made her jump again. Old wounds opened immediately.

He calmed himself. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

Slowly he went to her, standing close. His hand swept a strand of her hair gently tucking it behind her ear as the other touched her arm. "I think you're making assumptions. We need to learn how to be in the same room together again. It's gonna take time." His mouth leaned in and kissed her lips. "I'm gonna go get us coffee while you finish getting ready."

Maybe he was right. It had been years since their last encounter, and she still had a lot of baggage to deal with in regards to him. Plus his response indicated he was willing to take the time needed.

"I'm sorry I made you yell." She felt bad for upsetting him when he hadn't done anything wrong. Had he?

I'm the one who showed up here. I'm the one who lunged into his lips.

He smiled. "I'll be back in a moment. Stop worrying."

She nodded with a slight smile.

He kissed her lips again then turned to leave.

"Cream and sugar please," she said realizing she hadn't answered.

Room key in hand, he said "Got it. You want me to ruin it." He laughed as he left.

The room was errily quiet as she put her pants on. Once fully dressed she had no idea what to do with herself so she sat on the edge of the bed looking down at her feet.

This is what I've always wanted. Why do I feel so sad? I feel-

What did she feel?

Alone.

She closed her eyes and began to cry.

A bit later, the door opened startling her.

"A large coffee with cream and sugar for my sugar," he said happily turning to close the door quietly with his foot. "I hate the sound of the door slamming."

She wiped her cheeks quickly but when she looked up at him he was staring with wide eyes. "Are you-crying?"

She laughed slightly as she sniffed looking back down at the floor. "Yeah. It's nothing."

"Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?" He stood motionless holding a coffee cup in each hand.

She shook her head, sniffling again as more tears released. "I'm just being emotional for no apparent reason."

He spoke jovially. "I hope coffee is the remedy because I have it readily available."

She looked up at him seeing a cheesy grin that made her snicker.

"Of course, if giving me a blow job will help, I guess I'll let you. If I have to."

A stern glare went at him.

"No? Not funny?"

She shook her head and looked away.

After a moment of silence he sighed. She watched him put the coffee on the table then stand directly in front of her. "Come here," he said motioning with his hands for her to stand to retrieve a hug.

She shot to her feet and melted into him. He hugged her while slowly rubbing her back.

She didn't know what to say but on instinct she apologized. "I'm sorry."

"Last night was incredible. You know that, right?"

She nodded into his chest. The security of their embrace made her forget all her negative feelings in an instant.

He thought it was incredible so I have no reason the be concerned. He wouldn't be hugging me if he didnt care, right?

"The blow job is still available if it will help."

Now he's trying to make me laugh. See, he cares.

She pulled back to look up at him. "That's so kind of you."

He grinned. "Well, anything for you." His lips met hers for long closed mouth kiss. "If you give me a chance, I'll do my best not to repeat the past."

She nodded.

His lips met hers again, this time for a real kiss that began a tingle in her chest.

"God, you are amazing," he said before diving into another.

The loneliness was gone and in its place came a flicker of joy.

He quickly picked her up and carried her to the bed just as he had the night before. They kissed for a long time until he stopped and looked down at her.

They stared in each other's eyes.

He spoke sweetly as his eyes slowly took in her face. "I want you to commit this moment to memory. This isn't about sex, in fact, I don't even want sex right now. I just want you to know-" He paused seeming stuck.

She knew expressing himself to anyone was a difficult thing for him to do.

He loves me too. I know he does.

"I know. You don't have to say it."

He kissed her lips again softly.