There's A Reason... That Shit Didn't Work Out

FIVE

Facebook. Fucking Facebook.

Sam: I figured out how to get ahold of you. Does that show you I'm serious?

Joie sat staring at the message stewing inside. She hadn't had a moment of peace since her head-butt with the heart-destroying egotist at the park.

He had been her first love and as much as she hated to admit it, he had been the measuring stick to all her relationships since. He was also the reason she expected everyone she cared about to abandon her.

They met her first year of college when she was still a naive virgin, but a few weeks into their relationship, both of those pieces of her changed permanently. He walked up to her at a party and introduced his cocky-self by asking her if she wanted to go for a walk. It had been impossible to say no to the cutest boy who had ever paid her any attention.

They walked down the street sharing small talk and when far enough away from the party noise, he turned to her and said, "I promised myself the next time I saw a girl as beautiful as you, I would make myself talk to her. Seriously, you are gorgeous."

She hadn't thought of herself that way at all, but the way he said it, made her believe it was true.

There was a full moon that night and a soft breeze which made her hair tickle her face. She felt more alive than ever as he leaned in and gave her the first of several incredible kisses.

"Fucking Sam!" She growled then closed her laptop. She looked around her living room. "I'm not letting him do this to me again! I'm not!"

She fixed her eyes on the floor and bit her lip. It wouldn't hurt to hear what he has to say, would it?

Angry at herself for even considering it, she balled her fists and let out a growl. "Asshole!"

He said he's not the same. What if I'm being unfair? Everyone has the opportunity to change, right?

He did look good. Really good.

She rolled her eyes. "I hate that you have this hold on me, Sam Oziv. I hate it!"

Quickly she opened her laptop and started a return message.

Joie: You're a jerk!

She hit send before even thinking. Damn you impulsivity! Why did I do that?

Quickly, a return message appeared.

Sam: I know. I'm sorry

Maybe he really is sorry. Maybe there's a good reason behind us connecting again. I am on a quest to figure out who I am. Maybe I'm going to learn something about myself if I just go with the flow. I've never believed in coincidence.

Joie: Just tell me this, why? Why was it so easy for you to play with my heart? Did you not realize I'm a person with feelings?

Sam: Joie, you've always been a person to me. A wonderful, beautiful person who I knew had a great big heart. I was just so broken back then. I pushed people away. It's what I did to protect myself.

Joie rolled her eyes as she typed.

Joie: Why exactly did you need to protect yourself from me? I don't understand

Sam: It's hard to explain, can we meet so I can try?

The thought of being near him again made her heart rate quicken and her palms got sweaty.

Joie: I don't think that's a good idea. You have this crazy hold on my heart even now and I don't trust you or myself. I'm stupid enough to let your charm confuse me again.