I opened my eyes only to close them again, as light blinded them. Where was I? My body aches and warm arms are wrapped around me. They can't be Jason's- ohmigod, I think to myself as the memories of what happened the night before leak into my mind. Anxiety takes over my body, and before I can even comprehend what was going on, I was on the floor hyperventilating, while Luke tried to calm me down. But I couldn't. How could I calm down when that sick fucker did that to me? How am I suppose to let that go? I sob into Luke's chest, it felt like I was a broken record, replaying the same act over and over and over again. I don't want to be a record, I just want to be whole again, but now I feel like even more shit. Everything that I struggle with makes me feel so worthless, Luke cheating on me made me feel worthless, my parents fighting, the... Rape... How can I ever feel whole, when the past haunts me everyday? Now it's gonna be worse...so much worse.
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"Shh, it's okay... It's all okay." Luke holds me close, clutching me so tight I thought i was close to death. My body was in his lap, his arms protectively and worriedly around me. It sorta felt nice to know someone cared again. His words vibrating through my skull, as he mumbled into my hair. "I love you... I know your scared to trust again, and I know I don't deserve another chance... But, damn Ell, ill fucking die without you." I shake my head, I dunno anymore, I honestly don't. How can I trust someone again, especially after the night before. "Fuck, Ellie, I shouldn't add more to your list of things to worry about, just think about it later, and we'll talk.." I give a slight nod, barely visible to anyone from a small distance, but he caught it, and nodded in acceptance. Okay, I have two choices here, 1) risk getting fucked over again, and 2) continue to live my god-awful life of misery, loneliness, and desperation for drugs. I mean with choice number one, I could be with the one I've always loved, sure he fucked me over once, but will he do it again...? I'm not sure, but maybe the risk would be worth it. It's that, or ill end up worse. Two choices, both making a huge impact on my present life and future. But the real question is, which one will I choose to follow?
YOU ARE READING
Falling for You... Again
Teen Fiction[it is not Restricted] Elizabeth Swarthen has fallen off the deep end after her heart-breaking separation. After Ellie has given into the thought that maybe life without Lucas, Her ex-boyfriend, and her ex-best friend, Maria, she can't shake the fee...
