Falling for You... Again

An Escape

7:45 rolled around, and I had begun rushing around to grab the things I needed for the night. I had made sure to put my new bra set on. You see, I used to think that your virginity was something special, but now I've come to the realization that its not something big and important. I waited for a long time for the one I wanted, but he didn't return the favor, so I gave up. I grab my leather jacket, and scream that ill be back tomorrow for anyone that really cares, and close the door before anyone could protest. A new thing is that my parents have been arguing a lot lately, mostly about me. I don't care though. I don't care about anything, cause no one cared about me when i was having a difficult time, so why should I do the opposite.

I smile at Jason as I climb into his truck. Pushing his brown shaggy hair from his eyes, I plant a kiss on light pink lips.

"Hey babe, where we going?" I ask, fake love dripping from my words. Wow, I'm a great actress, gold sticker for Elizabeth!

"Kyle's having some rad party, everybody is going. Its gonna be sick." Jason speaks in his low, sexy voice. "We'll head back to my place afterwards." Disapointment happens to me a lot, and this happens to be one of these times. But I put a fake smile on for him, so he doesn't get upset about it. You see, we go to these types of parties all the time, and its getting kinda old.

"Alcohol?" I ask sweetly, almost innocent. Jason's eyes meet mine for a second, and he cracks me grin.

"Of course, don't they always?" He rests his hand on my inner thigh. It wasn't the biggest turn on ever, it almost feels like being pressured. But i don't care. It felt wrong to have someone's hand on me other than Luke's, though we've been over for months.

The music was blaring from the small, average house, and people were already outside by the time we arrived. As we walk inside, I look around at all the faces, some familiar, some not, though we're all here for the same reasons: Distractions, and fun.

"Hey, there's Matt, mind if i go chill with him for a little?" Jason asks, practically as soon as we enter the house. I shrug, my face plastered with a fake smile.

"Go ahead." don't leave me, you moron, "ill be fine." I wont, please stay... I cant stand to see another person walk away, even if its temporary. But Jason cant reads minds, and he'll never be able to read me the way Luke used to be able to, so he pecks my lips, and stalks off.

I reach for a red cup, filled with the familiar yellow liquid, and chug it down. I need something more, something to take away the already raw emotion, peeking through my high. I need another pain-reliever. I needed someone to numb the pain I felt, the huge bulging pain in the middle of my chest. The empty hole, slowly starting to fill itself up, giving me small amounts of hope, right before it all crashes down again. I wanted Luke here. I wanted Mar. No, I told myself, stop torturing yourself. You'll live, I swear.

I joined a small group passing a huge bong around. The strong want of being so out of it that you're barely conscious, had began to run through me, every second when the drugs weren't in my hands. It helped, oh it helps so much. It helps you forget.

* * *

There's a guy here, a guy that looks remotely similar to Luke. I want him. I need this stranger. I stumble out of the room, the room that seemed to be barricading me inside. I wanted an escape, and I was almost positive this guy could give me that.

I have found him. He's been by the beer the whole time, probably surveying the crowd from afar. I've finally got him in my grasp. The high me was fun, she was sexy, confident, and seldom took no for an answer. So here I was, straddling this guy, having a seat right in his lap. My lips were on him, my teeth slightly grazing his neck, finding his spot where I could make him moan. I don't know when i had asked him, but soon we were on our way up the stair, and into one of the many rooms. Up close, you could find the flaws between Luke and this guy, like his eyes. Luke's eyes were these amazing electric blue, almost unhuman, while this guys were a dull brown, and bloodshot. But I didn't mind, he looked like him enough, and I couldn't want anything more. He was enough for me. Enough to make me forget the pain, enough to forget about Jason, and surely enough to ignore this deep longing in my chest.