The Mafia Life (BOOK 3)

CHAPTER 7

Amber

It's been a week since Alessandro woke up. I wanted to come see him but every time I regretted it before I could even try. How can I come and hold his hand while I've slept with someone else? How can I come and tell him that I love him when I can't? How can I come and look at him and tell him that I can't be with him anymore? How can I break his heart when all I want to do is own it? I prepare myself taking one last deep breath before finally walking in.

I had hoped we would be asleep but instead he seems lost in thought, staring at the ceiling and with a slight frown. He's gotten better with the hallucinating but he still has to work on the physical recovery. I speak but hoping that he won't hear me.

"Hi." I stand there holding my hands nervously and my heart slips a best the moment his eyes connect with mine. Alessandro. I've missed his voice, his eyes, his smile. I've missed him.

"Bella?" His full eyes brighten up immediately and I feel an equal amount of happiness, guilt and shame.

"Oh my God." He sits up and looks at me with disbelief, tears slowly forming. I try to fight it but my body, seemingly with a life of it's own forces me to run over to him and hug him. He latches onto me and buries his face in my neck.

"It's you, it's really you." I feel his tears of joy fall on my skin and tears of pain begin to fall from my own eyes.

"Yeah." It's all I can manage to croak out while he continues to hold me, afraid that I'm not real. I sit there holding him for a few minutes while he composes himself. I feel the hesitation to let me go but he finally does. I stay seated on the bed and he holds one of my hands while tucking my hair behind my ear. It hurts to see that look in his eyes, the pure bliss of having me there.

"How are you feeling?" He smiles before answering my question.

"I feel fine, just getting used to stuff like walking again because after being held prisoner and then being in a coma for so long it's normal to feel weak." I nod and give him a forced smile.

"What's wrong?" He frowns and raises his right eyebrow, something he does when he's curious.

"I just don't think it's fair you have to go through this." What I don't say is that part of 'this' has to do with me.

"Hey, I'll get through it. I have you by my side and I don't need anything more." I give him another forced smile and he notices the strain.

"There's obviously something else going on Amber. Should I mention the fact that you failed to visit me this entire week? I understand you might have been scared because of my hallucinating but after that one time you came to me I hadn't seen you." I see the hurt flash across his face and it's a direct blow to my heart.

"Look, Ale...ssandro. I'm sorry. There's just a lot that's been going on and I'm under a little bit of stress alright? I understand you want to know more and I'll tell you but for now it's important you focus on recovering." I do my best to convince him to calm down but the way his face changes let's me know that I failed.

"No! That's all I've gotten from everyone! No one wants to tell me anything about what's happened! Why is everyone keeping me in the dark?" His grip on my hand tightens and my instincts kick in. I pull away from his as quickly as I can and take a few steps back. The remorse on his face is immediate but I speak before he can say anything.

"Please, Ale. Just...listen alright? We need you back and in order to do that you can't be worrying about anything other than yourself." He sighs in defeat.