Convict

28.

Monday morning rolled round quicker than I ever wanted. Guilt weighed down on me, it felt as though I had the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. I had to face Oliver today, after what I did yesterday. How could I betray him this way? How could I stoop so low? Should I tell him or pretend it never happened?

I sighed as I entered my office, the weather matched my mood, heavy fog was constant drizzle falling from the grey, heavy sky. I placed my bag on my desk and looked up at the lock. Nine o'clock. Oliver would surly know something was wrong, I was over an hour late. I had never been late since I accepted this job.

The truth is, I didn't want to see him. Seeing him would only make my betrayal real. If I could turn back the hands of time I would never have even let Ashton in. Maybe I would never have even accepted this job, I would be living the life I had dreamed of, not caring about Oliver. I felt like no matter how hard I tried, I always seemed to mess things up. Why was everything going wrong?

Deciding not to let my pity consume me I made my way to Oliver's cell, he would've finished breakfast and be waiting for me in the cell. For the first time in months I found myself hesitating in front of his door, unsure whether I could go in there. Closing my eyes, I fobbed myself in and opened the door, I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face.

I found Oliver sat on his bed, a piece of paper laid beside him. Dread filled my stomach as I closed the door behind me, Oliver watched me, not moving, speaking or even blinking. His face was emotionless as he stared at me, almost as if he had forgotten how to show emotion.

"Oliver?" I spoke quietly

"So" He stood, clapping his hands together "How was your day off? Get up to anything...Interesting?"

He began walking towards me, I felt like I was back to the first day in his cell. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest; my hands were shaking as I stood there. He grabbed the paper off his bed as he continued towards me, I was once again backed up against the door. "Oliver I don't understand?"

"Do you not?" He stopped fright in front of me, his eyes bore deep into mine. I could finally see sadness, hurt and betrayal in them. It was then that I knew, he somehow knew what had happened. He held the paper out to me, his eyes never left me as he shoved it into my chest.

I winced as he did this, feeling slightly winded. I took the paper and looked at the writing on it. I recognised the handwriting immediately as I read what was written.

Oliver, you won. You won the love of my life, you won her. The woman who I can only see in my future is yours. I see that now; I see that clear as the sky on a summers day. You took her from me, I screwed up, I pushed her away. But you won her heart after I broke it, after I destroyed her trust...You won her. You must be some man to repair her. Chloe isn't as weak as you may seem, she's one of the strongest people I've ever met, she has faced some of the worst disasters for a woman of her age.

She's crazy about you, she loves you. You're going to break her heart just as I did.

But she still loves me, and for as long as I'm still here I will always have her back. She is mine, she will always be mine and I will never give up on her.

Do you know how I know she still loves me? Because when I went round her house this afternoon, something happened. I was so close to claiming what was once mine, claiming what I needed, desired, I was hungry for her. I nearly had her, so close. But she stopped, I felt the scars on her back. The ones that I have no doubt match yours. She stopped when she remembered.

She loves us both, for as long as she loves you she will always love me.

Good luck, Oliver. I truly wish things were different, we may have even remained friends.

Ashton.

I swallowed hard and looked at Oliver "I never- we never- "

"I can read" He snatched the note back off me "But you were going to"

I started crying now, my heat was breaking again in front of him "Oliver, please" I begged him "Please I didn't mean to I- "

"It just happened, I can't give you anything that he can. I can't shower you in lavish gifts, I can't promise a future for us, I can't ask you to marry me, I can't even give you the sex you seem to be so desperate for!" He turned his back on me and walked back this his bed and he spoke. I could hear the hurt, the anger and the sadness in his voice

"No" I said through my tears "No Oliver, that's not what I want. I love you, I need you. I –I don't know what to do without you!"

He laughed cruelly and held the note up "Oh I think you do. I think you know exactly what to do without me"

It felt as though he had punched a hole straight through my chest, I couldn't control the sobs that riddled my body "That's not true"

"Get out of here, Chloe" He turned around again, his back towards me

I wiped my eyes and fobbed myself out of the cell, hesitating before closing it behind me "I love you, Oliver. I'll always be here when you need me"

I closed the cell behind me, I heard Oliver speak just before the door shut "I love you"

I spent the rest of the day in my office, crying to myself and wishing things were different. I could feel myself spiralling down this dark, deep abyss of eternal sadness. The closer I got to the end, the deeper I fell in love with Oliver, the harder I fell into this hole. I had to get out before I dragged everyone down with me.

Nothing was simple anymore, ever since starting this job everything just became complicated. It was rounding four thirty now, Henry had just come in the office. I had spent most of the day crying, my face felt puffy and my head felt like it was going to split in half.

"Hey" He smiled "You okay?"

"Not really" I wiped my eyes and watched as he sat in the chair "I've screwed up Henry. I keep screwing up!" I started sobbing again 

He walked round and pulled me up into a hug "C'mon. You're human, we all make mistakes"

"Not this many" I buried my face in his top "I keep doing it, I keep making mistakes. I nearly slept with Ashton, I ruined your date, I fell in love with a man on death row"

"You can't help who your heart chooses to love" He sighed, his hand running down my back soothingly "When two hearts entwine, not even death can separate them"

I sobbed even harder, mom used to say that to us. She would tell us the story of how her and dad had met, how her parents never approved of him. She knew he was the one, she knew he was her soulmate. Henry was right, as always. I had fallen so madly in love with Oliver that he would live on through me. Just as mom lived on through Henry and I.

"What can I do?" I looked up at my brother "How can I make this better?"

"Give him time" He smiled, kissing my forehead "He needs time to process this all"

"He doesn't have much time though" I sighed "I don't have time to waste just sitting here away from him"

"Chloe" He chuckled "Go home, sleep. Come back tomorrow on a new day"

A/N- Yes it is a lot shorter than the others, but it needed to be. There are only 6 remaining chapters in this book...And I'm sad about it :(